Introduction


Presented in reverse chronology, this history stretches from the present back to the Fellowship's 1970 founding, and beyond.
(See "Blog Archive" in the sidebar below.) It draws from many sources, including The Fellowship of Friends - Living Presence Discussion, the Internet Archive, the former Fellowship of Friends wiki project, cult education and awareness sites, news archives, and from the editor's own 13-year experience in the Fellowship.

The portrait that emerges stands in stark contrast to sanitized versions presented on the Fellowship's array of
alluring websites, and on derivative sites created by Burton's now-estranged
disciple, Asaf Braverman.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Elena's Story

Fellowship of Friends cult leader Girard Haven teaching dinner at Apollo, Oregon House, CA
From The Fellowship of Friends website, Girard Haven instructing Fellowship members.

"Community" posted the following on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog:

[ed. - Elena Haven was married to Girard Haven, nominally the only "conscious being" besides Burton produced in Burton's school.]
This is the last portion of a letter I’ve written to Girard that I wish to share on the blog. Elena

I have to thank you for having had the good will for there was good will on your part as in mine. We tried and lost or tried and gained what was possible. No mean intention, just our beings couldn’t make it any better. You say I must be as sick as you because one day I loved you, another I was furious. Yes, I must have been sick or just naive in trying to love you when I knew everything I knew about you. Your porno addiction, the fact that you weren’t sexually able (and God knows how you managed to recover, never being better than when we separated), the fact that you were so sick and neurotic that you hit yourself and swore so often, the fact that year after year you were unwilling to do anything for us to have time or joy for ourselves, the fact that it took four years for you to finally be the first force to take us out and I was so shocked that four years had gone by for me to experience beauty and time and freedom again, that I cried all day while looking at the birds in Grail Lodge, but you wonder why I’d get so unhappy. But it would have taken another four years before you were willing to take us out again (Yes, we went once more, but it was as if you were doing me a favor, not something you really wanted for yourself, you thought you were wasting time when you spent time with me) and it’ll take another lifetime for you to understand that the fellowship of friends cannot be a club in which you work and keep your wife out, that you either make a conscious community and live a decent life in it with your family and friends or cannot call it a community and even less a conscious school.
Yes, I was always trying to push your limits so that you would understand that I was worth your time enough for you to push the community you supported into an understanding of love and respect between a man and a woman. But no, you were not willing to support me and allowed for Robert, Linda, Karen and Susan and another one whose name I forget to withdraw any recognition for my work with Dorothy and humiliate me for having taken what you considered a not good enough job for people like you. You are the Fellowship’s slave and expected me to be the same, although your slavery still has a pityful recognition.
You people who are in power in the Fellowship and are therefore recognized and acknowledged by the establishment, that is, Robert, think no one else should expect to be recognized or acknowledged. No, you think people should work their asses off to support the school, third line, without recognition and then you justify your attitude with some “conscious” idea that “people should not expect reward,” “people should not work for a result,” “people should do their job and work only on themselves,” or as you say in your letter:
“I could point out that if you let the Fellowship use you, that was your mechanics and therefore was something you needed to see and free yourself from in order to have the possibility of further spiritual growth. What is frightening, though perhaps unavoidable, is the payment we sometimes have to make to see ourselves.”
And with that you are willing to justify no matter how much suffering people have to go through for having put any good will into the Fellowship of Friends. With that you justify Robert’s use of men for his sexual pleasure, the Fellowship’s use of people for economic viability and your own use of women for really nothing more than your sexual satisfaction.
It is not really that surprising since indeed you are programmed by an American mentality which is as willing to do the same to other countries in a much bigger scale and think it is too bad if the people in the other country are too weak to protect themselves against you.
What Robert and you in the inner circle of the Fellowship of Friends have not understood is that everyone needs to be a part of a community and not just a servant. A part of a marriage and not just a pleasure object. That it is our spiritual right to belong in equal terms to both a marriage and a community. And it was realizing the extent to which Robert’s and your unconsciousness cannot embrace external consideration objectively that freed me from your grip.
You, as much as the Fellowship, were willing to take dignity away from me and when I got angry you labelled me for being crazy. But I am a lot less crazy than you people are, for I now know the limits of my dignity and the extent of your madness. The lack of dignity with which Robert treats people and the way the inner circle supports that lack of dignity on the students is just as appalling as the fact that you were unwilling to stand up for me on any issue. You all place yourselves above and think you have the right to decide where we can participate and at the same time allow Robert to treat you like dirt because you too have lost all dignity, as so many ex-students who have posted here have had the courage to admit in those or other terms, to be able to lie and have control on others.
People who feel no dignity as part of the community they belong to, cannot avoid becoming depressed, inner consider, or get angry or instead go into an opposite behavior and look like they are perfectly hypnotized with a smile from ear to ear like my friend Helen in the gardens and Abraham and even Thomas, recently. But most students of the older generation just look terribly bitter. The women more bitter than the men, the men, many, are acquiring this strange, feeble expression, this softness that is neither feminine nor masculine, just feeble. That is probably why Robert cannot stand their presence, because he sees what he has done to them and has to cover it up with young people who do not yet show the damage he is doing to them.
It is true that after four years of being a nobody next to you, someone who you did not even have time to talk to, I feel pretty insecure about myself, but I am not going to do myself any harm now that I understand. I have learned to “be” above the Fellowship of Friends and have nothing to thank you or the Fellowship for. It was my own effort and good will that allowed me to get there in spite of your ill treatment of me, it was my work with Dorothy that kept enough dignity within me to know that I was still human and you had fallen below anything one could call, human dignity. If I saved Dorothy from the inhumanity of the Fellowship, she equally saved me from you and the Fellowship and I think she did me a far greater service than I ever did her.
I have only loved you for four years and admired you since I joined the Fellowship but Robert I loved for seventeen years and dedicated my work to his support for that length of time. He was a hundred times more neglectful and inconsiderate than you were. Next to him, you are an angel. After hearing Shelley M.’s story, I realized how he was equally confused with me. He thought I had money when I joined and they sat me next to him always. Then he realized all my questions questioned him and he placed me as far as he could. Then stopped me from giving angles for two years and finally just stopped any angles anywhere. It is really absurd how unintelligent he is. He could have asked me to leave long ago and would not have to put up with this play. It just shows how things happen to us, we are all victims of our own invention, and must assume responsibility for our doings. Yes, I assume responsibility for my love, for being a student and a wife, and Robert must assume responsibility for pretending to be a conscious teacher and you for being his main supporter and my husband. We all have to assume responsibility and not just find scapegoats.
Those who cannot see, think it is blaming and complaining but taking responsibility is not a negative emotion.
I think I’ll post this letter on the blog because my play is many women’s play in different scales within the Fellowship and they may profit from reading it. You are not the only egotistic, self committed macho that supports the fellowship, you’re just one who deeply helped to indoctrinate the rest and they all behave like you in greater or lesser degree. Besides, what I am saying is as good for the Fellowship as for life, it is a phenomenon of our time and one person’s play is simply the expression of that huge phenomenon. I offer my self for others to look at because there is nothing in it to be ashamed of and I expose you and Robert not because you are my husband, who I would have preferred to protect but because you, like Robert, have dared to pretend that you are more conscious than the rest of us for thirty five years and you are not, you used, abused and deceived our good will.
Once women understand that they are as worth while human beings as men and recover the long lost dignity that the patriarchal authoritarian structure has stripped away from us, we will be able to help men recover their long lost dignity, as men and human beings, by simply not allowing them to treat us any less than we should be treated. True men that have understood this will not be offended by my words. Homosexuals like Robert are so sick that they even treat other men as the stereotype macho, treats women, and young men have so little dignity themselves, that they allow it to happen, unaware of the price they are paying in their being. What we are not willing to protect amongst these young men in the Fellowship is their human dignity with the excuse that they offered themselves. You are all so sick, placing a twenty five year old next to a sixty year old and say it is equal ground. That is what each person still in the Fellowship is still supporting and you are so sleep you think there are no spiritual consequences to your loss of dignity but dignity is something you can’t buy.
Infra sex is infra sex, no matter where. Was that not one of the main issues in the work? Don’t let anything black come to the sex center, but in the Fellowship, it couldn’t be darker.
Not once has the Fellowship of Friends ever addressed the subject of positive emotions. At least in that, it was sincere. They could not fake what they don’t have and that is in the long run how spiritually, people can be recognized.
A conscious school would be able to develop positive emotions to a much greater extent than standard life. Dignity is presence. True pride, transparency, compassion, humility and gratitude, were never developed within Robert Burton’s Fellowship of Friends. What his school developed was shame, fear, frustration, anger, desolation, separateness, infra sex, lack of friendship, lack of human solidarity, servicehood, humiliation.

ELENA ON HUMILIATION

"Elena" wrote the following on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog:
Any pattern of “use and discard” is a pattern that undervalues and humiliates another person. In Girard Haven’s compilation of “Best Thoughts” we find:
“The pain that one feels when one is humiliated is that of false personality being diminished”.
So Girard and each one of you in the inner circle who have made of Girard’s indoctrination your greatest tool to support and justify Robert Burton’s behavior, does that mean that humiliating other people is the way of a conscious school?
And to regular students who are consistently humiliated, have you observed the I’s that make you think that you should not be feeling this humiliation and opt to buffer it or feel guilty about it because you think it is your own negative emotion?
Robert humiliates students by:
1. Not addressing them personally but en masse, unless he has some particular interest in them.
2. By separating them into groups of those with more and less money.
3. By using student’s money to sexually exploit young men.
4. By setting young men up so that he can exploit them sexually.
5. By using student’s intellectual, emotional and physical resources for his own idolization.
6. By not giving room for students to develop themselves, limiting their scope of participation.
7. By determining what students must talk about, read, and participate in.
8. By acting as if he is the only human being worth listening to on the planet.
9. By looking at people’s clothes up and down before he even greets them, if he greets them at all.
10. By having students pay 800 dollars each for a dinner of twelve people and not addressing them but holding a conversation between himself and Asaf [Asaf Braverman].
11. By not LISTENING to students.
12. By reducing students to mere servants when work on one’s self should be able to bring out the beauty and the talents of each individual and not shame, fear and inner considering.
13. By neglecting students that love and support him.
“The pain that one feels when one is humiliated is that of false personality being diminished.”
According to Mr. Haven then, pain is not real, suffering is not real, humiliation is not real, only false personality is real and it makes those other emotions false. He is welcome to question my interpretation of his words and so are others.
True personality according to him, does not feel humiliated? Is he saying that if Jesus felt humiliated when he was made to walk the streets with a cross while being whipped by the soldiers, he was in false personality? Or is he saying that a man’s being cannot be reduced by humiliation? Does that mean that he does not feel the humiliation? Or that he doesn’t identify with it? And whether a man’s being is not reduced or identified with the humiliation does that make the humiliation any less humiliating?
Why do you think Robert Burton is such a professional humiliating his student’s? How many of the twelve thousand students that have had to leave the Fellowship were humiliated enough that they were not willing to put up with it anymore? The humiliation from Robert or from those in power postions in the inner circle who thought they were also better than the rest?
Here is another angle on humiliation.
Humility is the other side of the coin of pride. While pride is the being knowledge of one’s integrity, humility is the being knowledge of one’s position within the macrocosmic whole. The knowing that one is being served with love by those ahead of one and that one is to serve with love those arriving after one. Ahead and behind, not in the position of class or space, but in the being spirituality. There are no classes, or statuses in the spirit, just spirits evolving, all bounded by love.
Humility and pride are the positive emotions that come from the experience of the hierarchy. Humiliation cannot occur in spiritual hierarchy.
Humiliation is only possible in physical hierarchies. It is the state in which the instinctive center primes. It is done redundantly in life by the way people behave with each other, dress, move, talk to each other.
Indifference, disacknowledgement, pedestals, idolatry, are all forms of humiliation. Only people who have not experienced the greatness of their own being with pride and humility can allow others to humiliate them. In doing so, they diminish their own possibilities of experiencing themselves because they depress themselves into lower and lower states until they can no longer recognize themselves but the other. Their “love” for the one that humiliates them, totally replaces their recognition of the being within themselves.
Depression is the expression of an I without pride, without dignity. True dignity does not set itself up for others to humiliate it. It cannot humiliate others. Dignity, humility and pride are positive emotions or qualities of consciousness.

"The three lines of work" [Elena] wrote on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, May 17, 2007 at 7:58 p.m.:
Hello Radiccio, thank you for asking.

To me, what is worth exploring for those of us who have submitted to life at Isis, Renaissance or Apollo for a good number of years, is the possibility of looking at the effects of Robert’s and Girard’s, sexuality, psychology, personal and social behavior. In other words, their three lines of work, with the prism that I proposed before in which I hold the belief that in as much as an individual’s sexuality is a very significant aspect of his identification with the world, it determines the way she/he will establish or neglect to establish a marital relationship and the way this is established or neglected, will determine the way he/she participates in the community. The community of Isis, was “closed” enough to reveal certain patterns that we do not usually grasp in the openness of ‘life’, hence, the validity of the experiment.

It would be much nicer if I did not have to use the names of Robert or Girard because at this point there is nothing personal against them and I wish neither one, any harm, even though I believe the Fellowship is a dangerous cult and students need to change it drastically or leave it. I also think that two men who were pretentious enough to convince us that they had something above the rest of us for thirty five years (I don’t quite know the exact figure), whom we loved and worked for, can at least forgive me for making them the subject of the present analysis. Since we all know them fairly well in their external behavior, it makes it easier to exemplify what I am saying so that you can verify it for yourself or question it further.
I am personally understanding what I am trying to say as I expose it, so a great deal of correction and refining will have to come in this exploration and I hope those of you that can tune into it might eventually highlight areas in which I am very weak. So here it is:
It is a fact that in our times, the life we have to live within the society, the need to produce money under certain conditions, has “acted” against the family and hence, the individual, but it is precisely this on going fluctuation between the individual, the marriage and the community; the community, the marriage and the individual, where we can explore the multiple aspects of the three lines of work and the consciousness with which each of us and all of us, move within them.
In closed societies with hierarchical instinctive structures like that of the fellowship or any cult or dictatorship, the flow of “life” (in the most beautiful sense of the word) becomes stagnant in the person in charge because everything within it begins to be determined by him and the leader develops into a dictator. It is, as if in a galaxy, only the sun were able to participate and everything else got burnt out.
If we look at the Fellowship, what is interesting is how this determination is colored by Robert and Girard’s own sexual conditioning.
Robert’s First line: Intimate relationships.
Utilitarian sexuality without the richness of marriage, without the friction, the questioning, the confrontation, the consistent loving between two people to “trim each other’s feathers.”
Second line: Person to person interactions.
Utilitarian relationships with both males and females within the community determined by money or services. Closely controlled delegation.
No time for friendship. Robert has no “friends”, that I know of. That is, he does not have people with whom to talk with leisurely, without any particular aim but the joy of spending time together without ulterior motives.
Family: the royal family perhaps? The Tudor’s? Which reinforce his imaginary “kingly” picture?
I understand he is “ruthless” with his inner circle.
Third line: The community.
Robert has established the guidelines of life at Isis in very specific forms. He addresses the rest of the student’s en masse meetings and dinners in which food is not honored but discarded and it is encouraged to look at him at all times. There is no dialogue, no spontaneity, no freedom of expression. The teacher and his assistants present material researched by a hundred students which is closely tampered by Robert.
He has imposed absolute control of the word or communication, who, how, when and where others can speak.
He has imposed absolute control of the life at Isis, the activities, the work, the pleasure.
And with the sequence he is trying to absolutely control the thoughts that students are allowed to think about. The way they use their mind and what for.
It is not just brainwashing, it is surgery with scalpel, “lobotomy,” and it is tremendously effective. But this deserves a whole different exploration of its own.
As long as we cannot fully understand the extent to which theory and practice need to be in close harmony with each other to be legitimate, we will continue to fall in the hands of all kinds of deceivers.
So let’s look at a regular student’s work in the fellowship, or what is expected of him with the teacher’s impositions.
First line. Intimate relations.
No personal relationship is above the relationship to the teacher. Give up your husband or wife if he/she interferes with your relationship with the teacher (the school). Your connection to the teacher is above everything else. The teacher that will never address or work with you closely, that cannot establish direct contact with you ever, that is willing to take only money from you because you are not awake enough to merit his time and that will use any and all your talent for his own benefit and discard you as soon as you have nothing more to give, wether it is because you’ve gotten sick or old.
This interaction between you and the teacher will be justified by Girard and the accepted dogma of the Fellowship with the idea that, Robert is a man number seven and you, barely a man number four.
If you do not value your awakening more than your husband or wife, you are under feminine dominance.
You cannot pretend a teacher to have time to speak to you when he has to keep the direction of the school for two thousand students.
Whatever you wish to share with Robert are just ‘Is’, don’t identify with them, be present, do your work.
These are just a few of the a hundred similar indoctrinations that Girard uses to justify this relationship, make it look reasonable and perpetuate it.
Girard’s first line is totally committed to this pattern:
Unconditional “love” for his teacher.
He is married to the School.
He has given up his will to serve Robert, the school.
The more intimate aspect reveals that Girard is a male with pornographic tendencies.
In porno, the woman becomes an object of pleasure. A “utility.” It is not someone worth bothering to speak to, there is no time for conversation because who wants to hear a women’s ‘Is’? Like listening to the ‘Is’ of a coffee maker…..but it is nice that it makes the coffee.
Here it is very interesting to observe that both Robert and Girard are unable to establish anything but a utilitarian relationship with their partner. Robert with his multiple young boys, Girard with four wives that he is willing to discard as soon as they confront his practical life with his so called consciousness and with a fair practice of porno which was the ONLY pleasure Girard kept for himself. Everything else, money, time, leisure, joy, love, fun, he gave up completely. There is no room for joy, no time for love, in Girard’s personal life or first line. He is the most damaged human being I have ever met, next to Robert.
So Radiccio, to answer your question, what I have to say is that Girard to me, sincerely attempted to balance his life and made a great effort to love me as he had never done with any other of his wives but although our very intimate relationship was one of deep struggle with our individual conflicts to make a marriage work, he was too conditioned by his patterns to give me more than an “utilitarian” role. I was, as I said, unconditionally loved as long as I was willing to unconditionally deny myself any joy or dignity, for there was no time for joy and no room for dignity, but was willing to serve the housewife; In the second line, I was expected to only support Robert and Girard, not stand up for myself or any of my understandings or experience with my own work and in the third line I was used as a decoration of stability so that my community would see Girard’s marriage as legitimate, just as Robert’s young Russian blonde is consistently presented in the background, a “decoration” for a very definite purpose. If these men are so sick that they are willing to use their most intimate relation to legitimize their school, what makes student’s think that Robert and Girard are not willing to submit them to an equally denigrating use, in which all that is wanted from them is money and effort to legitimize their role and school without leaving any room for their own integrity.
To Anonymous: My experience is that shame is the hallmark of inner considering. One day I might expand on that but your tone is not sufficient third force, I wish to convince you of nothing. Keep reading your books, I do not need to prove myself but I wish to share what I’ve understood in the hope others will suffer less and for shorter periods of time.
May you be deeply loved.
Elena

Elena takes on "Daily Cardiac"!

"Elena" wrote on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, November 17, 2008:
Hello Cardiacs,
I’ll answer you sentence by sentence since that’ll make it precise enough even if the post looks outrageously long.
DC [Daily Cardiac]: The FoF offers one product, and that is presence/self-remembering. So it’s a question of priorties. If someone values presence over the form that contains presence then esoteric schools make sense and are even vital for those individuals. If someone does not value presence above everything else then schools make no sense. Being in a school of presence and not putting presence first is the worst case scenario, as the higher in one will not be fed nor will the lower.
Based on my own experiences those who value presence first thrive in the school. That does not mean they agree with everything or understand everything that goes on; it just means their priorities are in order for them to succeed spiritually.
I wonder what the judge will say when you tell him that! When a lawyer asks a hundred of you, “What were you present to while members sent photos of young men to Mr. Burton? While these men were given priority visas? While they were dresses like Barbies? While they battered their wives and said nothing would happen to them because they were in Mr. Burton’s inner circle?”
What will you say then?
If the priorities of the Fellowship of Friends act against the well being of its members and causes harm on hundreds of people economically, sexually, emotionally and intellectually, the priorities of the FOF are against everything that the Constitution of the United States stands for. You cannot take a group of people and take all their rights out and pretend that after years of submitting to mental and physical control they can respond for their acts. It is not the members who are responsible for their acts, it is principally the Cult leader and the Inner Circle of the Cult who is responsible.
DC: I’ve been listening to people’s thoughts on the blog and answering from my heart, that the main disconnect with ex members is that they do not consider or respect the needs and laws of the spirit world. They do not get the scale correct, they do not distinguish between the different scales/levels.They do not remember that spirit supersedes matter and thought,is greater than matter and thought; and must be given priority over matter and thought.
You can expand on that one, it is still very weak. I don’t think you’ll get by with it with anyone serious enough. I do not expect you to believe my beliefs either but just in case you wish to listen to them, the Spiritual World is based on the grace of its beings. No being who is above in the Hierarchy can hurt anyone who is above or below. We are all helping each other. We are all, even in this physical realm, helping each other. The different dimensions are interconnected. To serve is to help without doing harm. You cannot harm and help at the same time and the Fellowship Cult only harms.
DC: Elena – “Could you, Mr. Robert Burton, or any of his followers, explain how separating mothers from their children is an expression of Consciousness?”
This can be an expression of consciousness when it is determined to be what’s best for the mother’s spiritual evolution, or for the school’s evolution.
Generally children have not formed a magnetic center and are not ready to engage in a life dedicated to self remembering. These same issues probably came up in other schools and will again in future schools.
How cheap, tell the judges that. You better get more specific or you’re all going to end up in jail.
DC: Actually the fact that Robert did not allow children in the school is one proof the FoF is not a cult.
Robert Burton did allow children in the School but only under certain conditions and those conditions neglected the children’s and the parent’s well being. They neglected the integrity of the family.
He only just recently tried to invite a member’s son who I think is not even eighteen to work at the Galleria when he found him young enough and probably thinking that his father had been such a good treat, he would allow his divine Teacher to taste his son too, after all, he wasn’t even his son was he, he was adopted. Fortunately the member left the Cult in horror.
DC: Cults are quite happy to absorb children into the fold as it’s a good age to be indoctrinated.
In most of the cases of mothers relinquishing care of their children to family or spouses it has not been determined if anyone, mothers or children, were really harmed by this exercise.
You probably weren’t there when K would scream up and down the corridors of the London center because of the situation with the children that she had abandoned. You probably weren’t there when the other lady cried for months because the child she’d given up for adoption twenty or more years before had cancer and it was the first time that she was going to see her. How would you be there when you are desperately trying to not be present to reality?
There are things that no spiritual path would ask of a human being unless it is one of black magic. I dare say that you are all too stupid to even be intentional black magicians (for which I am grateful and do not judge you harder) but the carelessness of your lives runs so close to darkness that it is just a line away from black. Your practices are dark as hell. There are members who sit quietly outside the blog, who sincerely claim that Mr. Burton’s intense swallowing of semen, between six and sixteen times a day, have been quoted, are directly connected with black magic practices. I personally do not think that Girard Haven or other members are consciously practicing such things even if the things they practice or allow Robert Burton to practice are so dark, that they could very well be black.
DC. For one thing this exercise was part of the school’s early years, and has not happened, that I know of, for close to 30 years.
Your eyes are so closed you think abandoning children is just the act of giving them away but children were not allowed in the Fellowship until late nineteen ninety five or so. That is twenty five years after the Fellowship began to function. When I joined in 1990 and moved to Renaissance in 1992, my children were not allowed which gradually implanted in my psychology a permissiveness to separate from them. I left my eldest daughter in a boarding school and my youngest I eventually left her with her father when she was eleven. This is the worst mistake I have ever made in my life prompted by the attitude the Fellowship of Friends Cult had on the biological connection of families. My children were all the family I had and I gave them up for years. The rest of my family had broken apart badly since my mother’s death. The FOF took the System’s ideas and distorted them until it ruined our lives. RUINED OUR LIVES. The fact that we will heal and learn and overcome the damages one day, does not mean that having participated in The Fellowship of Friends Cult did not ruin too huge a portion of my life to let it continue ruining other people’s. I beg forgiveness to my children and my family for the damages I brought to their lives in my blindness to belong to the Fellowship. It made me look at the sacred connection between us as something I could relax and let go of and we are, my younger daughter and I, still years away from healing from it. I am responsible for having left her, but the Fellowship is responsible for having induced me into leaving her. I swear to God, you will not continue to do these things to people with the same freedom you’ve been doing it for years.
I could write a book about this, why don’t I since you can’t see it.
Children are still banned from the Fellowship life and the Fellowship is NOT A SCHOOL, IT IS A COMMUNITY OF SLAVES WORKING FOR ROBERT BURTON’S BROTHEL. Children are banned “psychologically”. They are made to feel that they do not belong there, that they are biological accidents in their parent’s lives, that they are in fact a burden rather than a joy. Oh Daily Cardiac and company, how many times do you want me to write Heather’s story? Eileen’s story? Why were these children abandoned until they committed suicide? Why did Heather’s mother never take her into her house even after she tried to commit suicide three times? At least I knew enough about suicide to know that she had to be thoroughly and totally embraced. Why did Eileen come begging for help after being an alcoholic and did not get it from her father’s community and was so lost, so fucking lost that she opted to drive herself into a light post because there was no light at the other end of life?
Please help, please help these people get out of their madness, please help yourselves to a more dignified life.
You could say that Dorothy, Eileen and Heather are just a few people, the exception to the rule but they are not: They are the physical expression of the extreme to which the attitude of a community can bring their members to. Each one of these people is the result of the Fellowship credo, the Fellowship ideology, the Fellowship Way of life and in every one of these cases the results are simply put, PERFECTLY INHUMAN: they are the acts of people in a mind control environment that distorts their inner being so badly that they are willing to hurt children and old people.
DC: Now what really did happen in most cases? It’s not like people left their babies on a stranger’s doorstep. Possibly in all cases the children went to live with grandparents or the father.
Do you know how much this happens in today’s world, how many mothers willingly give their children to a spouse or family? Do you know how many young couples give their children to their parents to raise while they pursue a career. Sometimes both parents have to work and they have no choice. Where is the brutality in this?
Life might be brutal but the Fellowship is criminal.
DC: What was Apollo like then? It was a thicket of brush with two dilapidated buildings. People lived in tents exclusively on FoF property, worked 12 + hours, 7 days a week. Is this an environment for children? On one level Robert was being humane for not allowing children on the property back then.
For how long do you want me to laugh at your reasoning, you sick pimp. IT WAS ROBERT BURTON’S CHOICE TO TAKE THE MEMBERS OF THE FELLOWSHIP INTO AN ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH CHILDREN NEEDED TO BE BANNED FOR THEIR APPARENT WELL BEING. IT WAS HIS CHOICE TO PUT THEM UNDER THOSE CONDITIONS. IT IS HE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING THE MEMBERS COMMIT SUCH ACTS THAT gradually made them into the pitiful human beings that all those poor women in the high ranks of the Fellowship Cult have become who, having abandoned their children, now think it is rather amusing to have other people’s children get systematically raped by the same man who asked them to abandon their own. Tell me if most of the “survivors” of the oldest generation today are not precisely those who made such drastic sacrifices in their lives? What makes it so difficult for you to put one and one together? What makes you think that these women who abandoned their children are not those who are in fact in power in the Fellowship and promote the seduction and brainwashing of those young men into THE LEGITIMACY OF Robert’s abuses, they have to do it because it justifies their own sacrifices. If Robert is wrong, who will forgive them for what they did to themselves? And their children? Every single member of the Fellowship of Friends who remained inside after those things happened was no longer a normal human being. They had each tresspassed the boundaries of human sanity. Even at war, no human society has ever sacrificed its own children or old people. The Fellowship Cult is not only not a Conscious School, it is the most retrograde expression of Consciousness of all times. The dysfunctionality of the Fellowship of Friends is so corrosive that the traces of humaneness has disappeared.
Daily Cardiac:
As far as separating:
“Members from their families,
Member’s from their cultures,
Members from their previous friends,
Members from their functions,Members from their bodies, their minds, their emotions and their sexuality?”
People made personal choices.
People do not make personal choices under situations of mind control. Girard Haven’s books are systematic mind control bibles. Those holy scriptures of the Fellowship of Friends will prove in any court of law, how the Fellowship of Friends indoctrinated its members. I can open any page and find the dogma separating people from their own consciousness.
DC. All of the above happens in life on a routine basis to tens of millions of people.
How many students were helped out of a third world country by the FoF?
Tell us how many if you know. Tell us how many young men under twenty five were helped and not other people. I dare you give us the numbers. Tell us how it used the musicians and exploited them so that they could not get proper jobs. Tell us everything or you will eventually tell the court. We will know sooner or later, because we need to know.
DC: How many were overjoyed for the opportunity. Many of them are ex students today, still enjoying the freedoms they gained as a result of them being in the FoF. How many foreigners married Americans through the FoF and made a new life for themselves here?
Life? Is that what you call life? Have you in fact forgotten that for the Fellowship of Friends LIFE is influence A, something a member should never touch so that he can be at the disposition of Influence C every time Robert wishes to have sex or have enough money to take his whores on a trip where he can bribe them more easily?
DC: You have spoken of abortions in the past, supposedly prompted by Robert. It’s easy to make claims but how are the claims substantiated? I’ve never heard anyone’s name mentioned in that regard? And if names are mentioned what does it prove? Abortion is legal. It is legal by society’s law. Morally/spiritually we don’t know for sure when the soul comes into the fetus. But I would think an all knowing and compassionate deity would monitor and consider well the needs of unborn infants, and not leave the fate of a soul in the hands of men.
There will be names, you can be sure of that. For the past eighteen years people have been helping many of the women who were in a relationship with one of Robert’s boys, abort. Many, many women and one of them will come forward and speak against you and tell us how it worked. Hell is black enough that you can’t hide it in daylight. I won’t give you their names but I know who I am talking about.
DC: It can however be proven how many lives the FoF is directly responsible for helping to bring into the world. How many children were conceived by students who would never have met each other without joining the FoF? Is it fair to say these individuals, and their parents, owe a debt of gratitude to the FoF? How many of these children of students/ex students are there? Hundreds, and each one verifiable; their existence not a question of debate.
The irony of your statement makes it even more repulsive.
DC: How many viable careers were formed through training received in the FoF? Do any or all of these things count as good fortune arising from participation in the Fellowship of Friends?
Tell us how many and who profitted from these careers? How many of Robert’s boys in proportion to others? How and why were those people who were helped, helped?. Why don’t you explain why the rest of us weren’t even given a chance to speak.
DC: As far as separating from previous friends, I wonder what percentage of previous friends remain in the average person’s life?
People in life constantly turn their backs on previous friends by changing schools, growing up, changing jobs, cities, spouses.
How many millions of people disown their parents and siblings, entirely without the help of the FoF? Gurjieff [sic] said about our world that it’s a pain factory.
As I said, life might be brutal but the Fellowship is criminal and it will have to respond for its crimes. Lucky you that I am persecuting you before you actually kill someone, although for me you actually killed Dorothy, I simply saved her. In fact, for me, you killed Heather and Eileen, and I helped Heather enough and unfortunately was not able to help Eileen because I was myself too weak. And you certainly killed Joseph Monteleone with your repulsive neglect of Fellowship members in any kind of suffering. Yes, there are exceptions like Tamara who after making a film showing the wonders of Divine Robert was sent to Springs….. to suffer less, but tell me how this exceptions do not prove our points, not yours.
DC: Suffering exists in every corner of the world; independent of the FoF.
Why focus your complaints on a measly 1700 people?
Because you are the people I loved and trusted and invested my intellectual, emotional and economic resources in for seventeen years. Because you are responsible for ruining a beautiful portion of my life and because knowing what I know I will not let you continue doing what you do, just like I would take a rapist to the police if I was able to catch him. And I have caught you. I know you better than I know the palm of my hands.
DC: And who precisely are you complaining to? A deity? Do you think they haven’t heard you by now? Do you think they have somehow lost track of this notorious organization run by a sociopath impersonating themselves for the last 40 years? And if not to a Deity then to whom? A government? Robert Burton has not broken any laws.
Robert Burton has broken every human law of decency, integrity and respect for each and all the members of the Fellowship Cult. He has broken innumerable Constitutional Laws with the Fraudulent presentation of the Fellowship of Friends Cult as a School of Consciousness. If the Fellowship of Friends were not a fraud you would have sued me from the moment I began speaking and you have not sued me only because you know you cannot prove me wrong. If the laws today protect Cults like you, the laws must be changed so I am appealing to the people who can see what is right beyond the law. The laws are written to protect people from abuse and when criminals like you make up new forms of abuse, protected by the laws, the laws must be changed to protect the people, from people like you.
DC: The FoF is a rape factory? One of the many ironies of the blog is that ex members fail to consider the spiritual realm and point to Robert’s failings based on ordinary man’s moral code, but when it comes to rape, they disregard what constitutes rape in the eyes of most governments, and more importantly, in the eyes of reasonable men using common sense, and invent their own laws when judging Robert Burton.
Under mind control environments, inducing young men in socio-economic disadvantages to sexually submit to the authority of the institution is RAPE. These men are not in an ordinary environment.
DC: Abuse of power? This is indeed a mighty joke. What individual with even modest power has not abused it at one time or another? In sexual matters has there ever been a rich, or famous man who has not tried to use his wealth or status for his own enjoyment?
Has there ever been a beautiful woman who has not used her beauty to manipulate men? I’m sure there have been exceptions to the rule. But as a rule people use their status to get what they want.
In terms of conscious teachers and sex, it’s a much more complex issue. No one knows Robert Burton’s motives in that regard.
Abuse of power not only with the men who had to submit sexually but to every single member who had to pay for it convinced that she/he was supporting a School of Consciousness and not a sophisticated brothel.
Good! Why don’t we let Robert tell the judges what his motives were? Maybe they’ll like it sweet!
DC: To be conscious implies having will, and if one has will one can apply that will when and where necessary. Conscious teachers can also use their status for any reason they deem appropriate to higher aims (Conscious beings live for themselves, but they also are in service to higher schools first and foremost.)
Yes, being conscious implies having the will to not hurt people who have been rendered defenseless in a mind control environment. “DEFENSELESS” IN A MIND CONTROL ENVIRONMENT PROPER OF A CULT LIKE THE FELLOWSHIP OF FRIENDS. IF THE ARMS OF YOUR INTEGRITY ARE MADE TO BE SURRENDERED WHEN YOU ENTER THE CULT, YOU ARE MADE DEFENSELESS AND THAT IS WHY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US SACRIFICED MORE THAN WE CAN EVER RECOVER. We were made “defenseless” because we were stripped of our psychological make up in disconnecting us from our references and submitting us to the Fellowship references that we had to adopt to survive within that environment just like any person who is kidnapped willingly submits to the kidnappers. We were not kidnapped but we were indoctrinated to believe that salvation was only possible in the Fellowship, that war was imminent, that leaving meant the death of our possibilities.
PLEASE DON’T LET OTHER PEOPLE GO THROUGH THIS SAME GRINDER.
DC: There is one thing I have understood in this area and that is the majority of reasoning I read on the blog by ex members would not fit into today’s FoF.
Today’s FOF is not the FOF of the past thirty five years or the FOF of the future. Today’s FOF is a Cult trying to save a few members under desperate conditions. All the “good” changes you’ve made today will succumb as soon as you are left without pressure and you will return to your favorite bad habits or priorities which are making money for the brothel and pimpimg for mummy Bobby.
DC: So if Robert’s lifestyle is being used as a tool by higher forces to force people’s hand on whether to stay or go, I can see it’s an effective tool.
Those who manage to keep presence as the top priority have stayed, while those who have placed something above being present (I think of Old Fish’s list of joyful things) have departed.
Try giving the judges that answer dear and they’ll wonder if they are in a Court room or in a Latin soap opera!
DC: Elena, I am also certain of another fact. You have already condemned Robert Burton and the FoF. Nothing anyone says will change that. And any information you hear, no matter how factual and / or positive will have to be turned around in your mind and made into whatever fits your extreme position.
You’re right, you cannot change the facts now. Everything that has been presented here by members and exmembers has deeply supported my claims against the Fellowship of Friends Cult. It is not I who will change my position, it is you who will disappear as a legal institution to defraud innocent people from every corner of the world.
DC: That being the case can anyone believe the things you say about Girard, or Dorothy? With all of the hate you have displayed on the blog can you be impartial about what you experienced, or have you molded those experiences into whatever fits your preexisting position.
Anyone in their right mind can easily recognize that what you call “hate” in me is suffering and that I am in fact the one who has opted for non violent actions against the Fellowship. Legal and moral or ethical action but non violent, inspired by the same Ghandi your “beloved conscious teacher” despises so badly.
DC: Regarding Dorothy I have visited homes where she lived after she was in an advanced stage of her disease and I saw her to be well cared for. I know the the people who cared for her and they certainly don’t fit your profile of Dorothy’s caregivers.
Do you want me to give more names and details? I will in court. Dorothy had not been bathed for a year when I volunteered to look after her for the second time thoughout various years. She had not been given a bath and she stunk. Her nails were like a fakirs nails they were so long and black in dirt. She walked around with a doll who no one else could touch because she screamed and ate five loafs of bread a weak because her caretaker said she did not have enough money for more decent food. How many times do you wish me to tell you this story.
DC: One of Dorothy’s last requests when she was still in control of her thought processes was to live the remainder of her days at Apollo. The school made good on her request.
All those are lies. Janet asked Robert what to do with Dorothy when her alzheimer was in its early development and Robert told her to send Dorothy to a home. Janet who was Dorothy’s best friend was not able to do so and carried on her back the load of taking care of Dorothy on her own for years. When the situation got bad enough volunteers without payment were required. When it got worse, paid caretakers were required and when it got even worse she was dumped at my door with a “call me when she dies” and not one of the six high rank women of the Fellowship who had been carefully feeding her mostly bread for the past year, offered to look after her for even one hour a month. One of them personally told me, it was not right to have Dorothy in the Fellowship any more, she had to go to a home and therefore she would no longer help.
DC: Dorothy was not the FoF’s responsibility to care for.
Tell me you sick criminals, if the FOF induces members and actually induced Dorothy into leaving her son with her mother and disconnect her from her family, who is responsible for the old people of the Fellowship if not the Fellowship itself? Tell me, what kind of School is this that simply uses people until they are helpless and then discards them because they are no longer its responsibility? Who if not the Fellowship of Friends is responsible for an 84 year old woman with Alzheimer’s who has been a member for over thirty years? What in your sick mind, makes you think that a human being who has worked to support her community for thirty years does not have the right to be cared for by that community, when that same community induced her into disconnecting from her family and people outside of the community? If the Fellowship Cult thinks that people outside of the Cult are sleep, dead, unconscious beings, why is it so willing to throw its members out into the hands of those people, when the members become helpless? If it were as conscious as it claims to be, would it not be coherent enough to protect at least its most disabled members from the people outside of it, who, it claims, are the six billion dead or sleep people on the planet?
DC: If the school is as heartless as you characterize, it could have easily put her into a car and drove her to her son’s house in L.A., knocked on his door and said here she is, she’s your responsibility, not ours. But that did not happen.
The irony of your response makes me puke for the second time in this post. After separating Dorothy and her son, with what face would you show up to his house and tell him that she was his responsibility? But you’re lying, he had stopped seeing her for ten years before she died, their relationship had not been good ever and no one knew where he was. But the saddest thing about this story is that in the deep mist of her alzheimer the only person who Dorothy still held dear to her consciousness was her son who she would ask about minute after minute forgetting she had asked about him the minute before and we would tell her that he worked in San Francisco and that he was alright. Then she’d ask again.
DC: On more that one occasion you said when you received Dorothy into your care she had not taken a bath for over a year and her fingernails were inches long and packed with dirt.
This statement is highly suspect. It does not fit human behavior. Even if those people neglected Dorothy, they would not jeopardize their reputation by giving her to you in that condition. Most people would, if nothing else, inner consider too much or would be in too much vanity to allow someone to know the degree of their irresponsibility.
If a friend calls me unexpectedly on the phone and says he or she is on the way to see me, I will probably do a little tidying up, wash a dish or two, pick up my socks off the floor, because I want not to be thought a slob. This is human nature. What you say makes no sense at all. Almost anyone would cover up that kind of neglect.
Yes, any normal human being would have done those things but we’re talking about Fellowship of Friends members who got used to abandoning children and raping men in their twenties who couldn’t be “touched” by an old woman slowly dying in the most heartbraking isolation. They went to look after her and sat doing their work on the computer, or reading their book because the attitude that they expressed, including Mr. Haven’s in a letter to me, was that Dorothy was a useless, mindless “shell”. They thought she was worth looking after only as long as she didn’t actually require attention!!!! Only as long as she didn’t need to be touched, helped, made to move, do a little exercise so that the body would not pain her to death in a bed and the skin would not rot in the sheets. All these things were needed for a member of the Fellowship of Friends who had paid for thirty five years and instead they drugged her and starved her until she began having seizures so bad that they justified giving her hal dol and other extreme drugs that would kill that body over the weekend and Janet did not allow it because she knew and she knew that I knew and that I was extremely afraid something like that could happen. She could not bare her own conscience, THANK GOD.
DC: Also knowing how you felt at the time from your own writings, I can’t believe you would not have documented Dorothy’s condition by taking photographs of her in the condition you described. That would have been the most intelligent and reasonable thing to do.
I have photographs of Dorothy in each of those periods, in fact I have videos of her. The most difficult picture of her is with her doll. The only connection to love that she had during that period.
DC: For someone who put so much into the mistreatment of Dorothy, I can’t seriously believe that it would not occur to you to show the world what really goes on in the FoF. You had all the proof in the world delivered to your doorstep. And if your statements were true you would have shared that proof with everyone.
I did not put so much into the mistreatment of Dorothy, only you put that into the octave. I was no saint though. I did my best, but Dorothy and I fought like dogs every once in a while and everyday I would have to force her to get her into bed because she wanted to sleep in the chair where she’d been resting at the end of the day. Nothing was easy during those three years for either one of us, but we bonded with each other for eternity. May she forgive me for every time I was too tired or too weak to be more patient. Taming a mad dog is not a far off analogy to the condition in which Dorothy was brought to me. From an old woman with alzheimer’s in strong physical condition, in three months she was rendered a crazy, violent, drugged piece of meat that could not even stand when she was left at my door. I had to carry her in because Janet just walked away as she said, “call me when she dies”. Indeed, she came only a few times during those three years but I will defend Janet in any court because in the end she too knew that the Fellowship was humanless as she states in a letter after a confrontation with Linda.
I was much tempted to go to the police but at that point I still believed in Robert Burton and had not connected all the threads that I was able to connect after three years of looking after her and directly experiencing the attitudes of the Fellowship and Robert towards its members. At the time I held the caretakers responsible, not the Fellowship and since the Fellowship was to me still the School of Consciousness, I was called upon to assume responsibility for what I thought consciousness was and therefore, assumed the job of taking care of a Fellowship member, not because it was my job or because I had been trained as a nurse or because I did not have enough in my hands serving my disabled husband, but because as a member of a Conscious School I felt that it was OUR responsibility to take care of OUR members and if no one else was able to do the job, I was willing to do it. As the wife of the Second in Command of the Fellowship I felt it was my responsibility to assume the problem. I did it for three years, twenty four hours a day and every time I went on a teaching trip with Girard, Dorothy regressed terribly, except when Elizabeth took care of her: a trained nurse with a lifetime of experience. Agnes was also good.
WHY WAS THERE NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN “THE FELLOWSHIP OF FRIENDS CONSCIOUS SCHOOL OF AWAKENING” TO HIRE A TRAINED NURSE AND THERAPISTS TO RENDER A THIRTY THREE YEAR OLD MEMBER A LOVING DESCENT INTO THE HANDS OF THE BEYOND.
TELL ME YOU SICK CRIMINALS, IN THE NAME OF WHAT GOD DO YOU SPEND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS ON EACH OF ROBERT’S UNDERWEAR AND ARE NOT WILLING TO PAY FOR A NURSE FOR YOUR HELPLESS MEMBERS?
Tell me, where is the dignity or the consciousness in having one of your members die like a pig on bread and drugs while hords of dandys walk up and down the corridors of the Galleria exposing the outrageous expense of their clothing?
Your arguments Daily Cardiac defy common sense and while you and the rest of the members might have lost it completely, you still belong to a world that will demand it of you. When you confront Robert Burton’s expenses in a court of law with these outrageous human offenses, you will not find one judge in your favour. I long for the day in which you no longer exist for your own well being and humanity’s.

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