Introduction


Presented in reverse chronology, this history stretches from the present back to the Fellowship's 1970 founding, and beyond.
(See "Blog Archive" in the sidebar below.) It draws from many sources, including The Fellowship of Friends - Living Presence Discussion, the Internet Archive, the former Fellowship of Friends wiki project, cult education and awareness sites, news archives, and from the editor's own 13-year experience in the Fellowship.

The portrait that emerges stands in stark contrast to sanitized versions presented on the Fellowship's array of
alluring websites, and on derivative sites created by Burton's now-estranged
disciple, Asaf Braverman.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Ludger's story

"Ludger Kreilos" wrote on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, May 3, 2007:
Dear Ladies & Gentleman,

It´s now two days ago that a very good friend of mine and also a former student of the FOF, found this blog and we are still amazed about the amount of articles written in the last month. So first of all a very big “Thank You”! for the founder & moderator of the blog. We all think that You must be the one who must be shaken to the bone of the huge tidal wave that You started without knowing it!

In Robert Burton's words “A joke of the gods” and we think if this blog is still going on, it might be the end of the FOF.

If I would be Robert Burton or the board I couldn’t sleep anymore, ´cause this blog extremely diminishes the amount of new students! Good work!

So first of all a brief summary of my FOF career: My name is Ludger Kreilos. I have been a member of the FOF for seven years. You see I completed my octave. I joined in Sept.1986 and left in Sept.1993.

Maybe some remember me, I was part of the so called “Bochum Bunch”. At our peak we were 22 students all coming from Bochum, Germany.

I started in the Cologne Centre, my center directors were “Rolf Disselhoff & Cheryl Disselhoff!

The first two years in the FOF were the most outrageous years I´ve ever experienced, ´cause they gave me a lesson that I´ll never forget my whole life.

The ideas and thoughts of Gurdjieff & Ouspensky were part of my whole being as we mentioned in school language, and being born and raised as a cold war kid. I wouldn't ever dreamt of becoming a “Hitlerjunge”.

My whole education and socialisation was totally directed to the opposite, not to become a follower of a cult, strictly guided by very obscure rules! But the ideas and stories of Gurdjieff & Ouspensky that I heard, read and experienced were so strong, that the FOF seemed to be the one and only “Emergency Exit” out of my unstructured life, even of the weird rules, I was ready and desperately seeking for the guy to come and take me by the hand!
Robert Burton!

A very good lesson to learn. To find my self totally under control of a weird, self mixed theory by ignoring my needs, believes and moral structures. What I learned of it?! That no one as clever or intellectually structured is free from getting trapped. Every party, group, cult or movement works with the same emotional idea:

”You can decide, whether You are one of us or one of them! The sleeping machines with no souls!” And I wanted to be part of the saviour side!

I was the ideal German follower, I would have sold everything or do anything for the school, but fortunately the teacher never asked me to, otherwise I would have gone to “Stalingrad” and fight for the FOF.

I’m still gratefully for experiencing me, myself & the many I´s that everything is possible. For everyone here there is the right cult there outside!

So nearly everyone of my friends joined in the recent years, and we became a more or less stable group in the FOF, in the end we were the whole Berlin Centre around 20 members the rest located in Renaissance.
Only one was left on our mission to awakening: Andreas Jewers he seems to be still in the FOF! Hey, guy we often think of You!

Strangely enough I must admit that the seven years in the FOF were great, they made me to the man I am!

The FOF was a great opportunity to learn , it was a cultural mind blowing experience. It is still the foundation of my thinking and cultural expression and profession! Thanks for that!

But also I must admit, I had luck, fortunately I never lived in Renaissance except harvest holidays, I wasn´t alone in the FOF, I had my friends with me and we had our doubts and a lot of discussion too, believe it or not the FOF is still a topic of interest for us. Nearly everyone of my friends from Bochum who joined in the mid 80´s and left in the mid 90´s is now living here in Berlin again. Even me, recently moved again in the apartment that was once called the Berlin Centre, funny isn´t it!? Everyone survived the FOF with his or her personal scars, but to be honest if we would have the chance of informing us about the FOF on the internet in the 80´s, we wouldn’t join it! So this forum is a big help for esoterically seekers!

Don´t sell Your soul, to the FOF, ´cause You have One.

The FOF is a degenerated 4th Way School.

And don´t be na├»ve, most of all the ex-students didn't have such luck and stable social contacts as we all have! Most of them struggle with severe psychic problems after leaving it! Have that in mind!!

So playing with fire is the right picture, some have and will be Burtoned!

I was never abused or raped by Robert Burton, and as far as I know, only one of my friends had to go this way. Sadly enough, but that seemed to be the price of being in the inner circle! Getting a high status in Renaissance, Apollo or now Isis, you have to pay that certain price. And then You will be used and thrown away if You aren't of any interest of the “Teacher” anymore, as many others experienced before.

Of course we all know Troy Buzzbee [sic] and the hundreds before and his followers. This is and was sick, unfair and extremely cruel!

But excuse me Mister Burton, this is Your price; You have to pay; the long ever lasting minute in the moment of Your death when Your little soul is chopped into pieces and every second comes back to Your mind; where You abused all the people who put their trust in You!

You sold Your soul!

Not the little sheep’s, who gave life time, spirit, money and nearly the best of what they had to serve You!

In the end You´ll recognise it and You even know it!

You can fool some people some time, but You cannot fool all the people all the time!

So You got the best men & women, it was all in Your hands.

You have chosen! You are on the dark side of the moon!

P.S.: Feel free to contact me, if You wish.

lkreilos@aol.com

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