An Unauthorized Blogography of "The Teacher" and His Cult
Introduction
Robert Earl Burton founded The Fellowship of Friends in the San Francisco Bay Area in 1970. Burton modeled his own group after that of Alex Horn, loosely borrowing from the Fourth Way teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky. In recent years, the Fellowship has cast its net more broadly, embracing any spiritual tradition that includes (or can be interpreted to include) the notion of "presence."
The Fellowship of Friends exhibits the hallmarks of a "doomsday religious cult," wherein Burton exercises absolute authority, and demands loyalty and obedience. He warns that his is the only path to consciousness and eternal life. Invoking his gift of prophecy, he has over the years prepared his flock for great calamities (e.g. a depression in 1984, the fall of California in 1998, nuclear holocaust in 2006, and most recently the October 2018 "Fall of California Redux.")
According to Burton, Armageddon still looms in our future and when it finally arrives, non-believers shall perish while, through the direct intervention and guidance from 44 angels (recently expanded to 81 angels, including himself and his divine father, Leonardo da Vinci), Burton and his followers shall be spared, founding a new and more perfect civilization. Read more about the blog.
Presented in a reverse chronology, the Fellowship's history may be navigated via the "Blog Archive" located in the sidebar below.
Friday, December 31, 1982
December 1982 Notes
The Fellowship's William Blake School Association presents performances of Anton Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard."
Tuesday, November 30, 1982
November 1982 Notes
"Renaissance Vine" newsletter [summarized]
Other Notes
November 5:
Many persons are being moved into construction at the winery, and there have been cutbacks in other areas
Other Notes
November 5:
New Herman Miller dining tables arrive for the Lincoln Lodge.November 8:
Riesling harvest in the rain. Much of the crop moldy and had to be left on the ground.November 12:
Fellowship member Neal O’Brien dies in an automobile crash on Marysville Road in Brown’s Valley. [An on-coming pick-up truck carrying three teens apparently left the pavement and drove into the right shoulder. The driver over-corrected, swerving into Neal’s path, and colliding head-on with Neal’s Mercedes.] In the 12 years since its founding, there have been few member deaths. The organization is still youthful, with an average age probably still in the early-30s.November 19:
Robert Burton returns from travels in Europe
Sunday, November 14, 1982
Robert Burton speaks about Armageddon
[ed. - I've taken the liberty to insert this in the time line where these events occurred.]
"Graduates" posted the following on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, June 13, 2007 at 5:32 p.m.:
"Graduates" posted the following on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, June 13, 2007 at 5:32 p.m.:
Burton on Armageddon (from a circulated memo):
“Revelations: “…the seventh angel…” After the seventh conscious being appears, Armageddon will come.” - Florence, Italy, Nov. 2, 1982 (Burton believes that his teaching will produce seven conscious men.)
“C-Influence will ensure that all that is left of culture will be taken to Renaissance [the Fellowship compound] for posterity.” - Nov. 3, 1982
“Florence, Venice, Siena will probably not be bombed. C-Influence has indicated to me that Naples (home of NATO), Rome, and Milan will be bombed. Neutron bombs may be used. (Neutron bombs destroy only humans.) ”- Nov. 3, 1982
“We are founding a new civilization.” - Nov. 4, 1982
“Armageddon has wrung a school out of the gods.”- Nov. 4, 1982
“The only error in Christ’s teaching was the statement “my yoke is mild.”- Nov. 4, 1982
“My role is to predict the fall of California and Armageddon.” - Nov. 9, 1982
“People must come to us for souls.”- Nov. 9, 1982
“Don’t put money into banks after Dec. 1983.” - Nov. 9, 1982
“The depression will work to our advantage, we will go through it unscathed." - Nov. 9, 1982
"We are very well prepared for the coming depression in 1984.” - Nov. 9, 1982
“California is the artichoke capitol of the world…It means it will choke in 1998.” - Nov. 9, 1982
“Haley’s Comet is going to ruin it all, this whole decade is not a good decade.” - Nov. 9, 1982
“We are a very high school on earth, Rembrandt and Goethe are in a higher school. There are angels at this table right now.” - Nov. 11, 1982
“The 44th president of the US will be in office at the occurrence of Armageddon, 2006.” - Nov. 11, 1982
“After the year 2006, Genoa may be the port where art is taken by ship to the East Coast – from there by existing highways to Renaissance [now called Apollo].” - Nov. 14, 1982
“We are the greatest school since Christ’s.” - Nov. 12, 1982
From Burton (recorded from early “teachings”):
“The formation that a human’s scale of vision sees as coral may be in reality the earth’s set of teeth. Coral is found near shorelines and what we see as waves is, alarmingly, the earth’s tongue rolling upon the shoreline. The shoreline, then, would somehow be the earth’s lips. As one observes this phenomenon one can easily visualize the waves as a tongue licking the earth’s shorey lips. Storms, which are a strong negative force, are created out of hunger by the earth. The variety of organic death they leave in their wake is washed back into the earth’s main bloodstream, the ocean.”
“As one awakens one sees the earth, humans and organic life on earth objectively, and finds one’s visual properties are of the scale of an electron microscope. What we take for trees and rivers are, surprisingly, the earth’s hair and blood veins. What appears to us as a cloud formation is most probably the earth perspiring. On hot summer days clouds form over mountains, and fog sometimes rolls onto the land masses. Similarly, on hot days beads of moisture emerge from our body or cosmos. We call this noteworthy event perspiration.”
Sunday, October 31, 1982
October 1982 Notes
October 9:
"As You Like It" is performed by Renaissance PlayersOctober 23:
Urgent Care Medical Clinic recently opened in Yuba City by Fellowship memberOctober 28:
Sauvignon Blanc harvest
Thursday, September 30, 1982
September 1982 Notes
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An early Fellowship harvest. Dr. Karl Werner (right) points to the stems, while Diana Werner looks on. (Photo: T. Campion) |
September 5:
Salon (at The Goethe Academy) is inauguratedSeptember 11:
Cabernet Sauvignon harvest begins
Winemaker Karl Werner said the acid-sugar balance could not be better. Over thirteen tons are brought in.
The vintage may turn out a lighter, more elegant wine than past vintages.September 12:
Cabernet harvest continuesSeptember 15:
Small lots of white varietals are harvested for champagne. Chenin Blanc, Gewurztrmainer.
Karl expects the first releases of our wine will be in 1988.September 16:
16.44 tons of Petite Sirah harvestedSeptember 17:
Rain. Reports of grape crops damaged in Napa and Sonoma (but Renaissance beat the rain.)September 18:
Steady rainSeptember 23:
Zinfandel harvest
Tuesday, August 31, 1982
August 1982 Notes
First “lid” pouring at the winery?
People now being paid $5 per hour (over and above normal salaries) for work at The Goethe Academy. [ed. - Of course, many of those employed there are Burton's chosen young men, who provide "special services."]
Round Herman Miller tables (like those at The Nut Tree) are being purchased for the Lincoln Lodge.
People now being paid $5 per hour (over and above normal salaries) for work at The Goethe Academy. [ed. - Of course, many of those employed there are Burton's chosen young men, who provide "special services."]
Round Herman Miller tables (like those at The Nut Tree) are being purchased for the Lincoln Lodge.
Saturday, July 31, 1982
July 1982 Notes
"Renaissance Vine" newsletter [summarized]
Concerts: Renaissance Orchestra
Photo: Rome Center
Wednesday, June 30, 1982
June 1982 Notes
"Renaissance Vine" newsletter [summarized]
May 16: Sharole Mannering passed away[ed. - See "The Hell Letter" which clearly demonstrates Robert Burton's "compassion" for followers such as Sharole.]
Monday, May 31, 1982
May 1982 Notes
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Goethe Academy Salon, circa 1982 |
"Renaissance Vine" newsletter [summarized]
[ed. - "Exercises" ended:]
It is now okay to put your hands on your hipsSoft drinks are now permitted
May concert: Istvan Nadas - Beethoven Sonatas [ed. - Mr. Nadas would eventually become a Fellowship member.]
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Goethe Academy Salon, circa 1982 |
Friday, April 30, 1982
April 1982 Notes
Thursday, April 1, 1982
The Price of “Friend” Ship
[ed. - Text downloaded from ICSA website September 27, 2006. The Advisor was a newspaper published by ICSA from 1979 - 1984.]
The Price of “Friend” Ship
Special to The ADVISOR
by Joan Guberman
April/May 1982
“Your money or your life,” that is the choice faced by the victim of a robber.
“Your money and your life,” that is the non-choice often faced by victims of a cult.
What follows is the brief story of a cult and one woman who joined it, at the cost of her marriage, her money and her free will.
The Fellowship
Robert Burton’s Fellowship of Friends is one of a number of groups around the world that study the ideas of the late Russian mystics George Gurdjieff and Peter Ouspensky.
Burton’s group, however, practices mysticism with a twist. They believe that mystical values become clearest through the worship of beauty and materialism. The group members voluntarily contribute one tenth of their income, with a $100 monthly minimum, to enable their leader, Burton, to surround himself with valuable works of art.
Renaissance, the Fellowship’s California retreat, where Burton presides, is decorated with an estimated $1 million in works of art. Fellowship members come to stay and work there for varying lengths of time.
An ex-member and professional psychologist, James Trattner, described Burton and Renaissance in the San Francisco Chronicle (April 20, 1981). He said Burton is a “guy who lives like an absolute king. He’s buying art objects that cost in the millions. And then, right there at Renaissance, all around him, you have the worker beasts, going from morning ‘til night, planting grapes, doing stonemasonry, and carpentry. They are flat broke, they have no money of their own. And in that sense they are prisoners.”
“The parallel with Jonestown,” Trattner insists, “is incredible.”
A major difference between the two cults, however, is that while Jonestown attracted primarily the poor and unskilled, the Fellowship attracts people who have skills and money to contribute. One former Fellowship recruit, a 26-year-old white-collar worker who gave almost one year of her life to the cult, has volunteered to tell her story to The ADVISOR. To protect her privacy, we shall call her Anna.
Anna learned about Fellowship meetings on a bookmark which she found in a philosophy book for sale in a local store. Newly married, Anna had always been looking for some higher philosophical truth. She was feeling particularly vulnerable because of recent financial difficulties. Also, she was reluctant to face the responsibilities of her marriage.
Intrigued by the bookmark, Anna decided to go to the Fellowship center. She attended a set of three introductory Fellowship meetings and was impressed by the attitude of the members. Although she felt bombarded by information and unable to ask questions, the friendliness of the group and the promise of greater spiritual insight drew her back.
Gradually, she began to spend more and more time with the Fellowship members. She began following the Friend’s rules, including the omission of certain words from her vocabulary, eating ‘European style’ and dressing more formally. Her new friends told Anna to regard associates from her earlier life as now beneath her.
Anna’s behavior seemed to change. Her parents said she was becoming “Robot-like.” She lost her sense of humor.
When her husband became critical of the changes in her behavior, the Friends encouraged Anna to leave him. Anna began lying to her husband about her activities. The marriage began to disintegrate.
In desperation, Anna’s husband hired a deprogrammer. The deprogramming, at least initially, failed. Anna lied to the deprogrammer and maintained her ties to the Fellowship.
Suddenly, after a month, Anna, in her own words, “snapped out” and “became mentally alive again.” She became convinced that she had been brainwashed and began to try to put her life back together.
However, leaving the cult did not mean that things returned to the way they were before she joined. Anna explained, “While I was looking for happiness in the cult, I lost my real happiness, my husband.” Uncertain about what to believe after almost one year of deception, her husband had left their home.
After several months of anguish, Anna is now seeing her husband again, hoping to put their marriage back together. She is also reestablishing ties with her parents and old friends. With the help of the local Citizens Freedom Foundation, a support group of ex-cult members and their families, Anna is slowly rebuilding her life.
Wednesday, March 31, 1982
March 1982 Notes
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Snow covers the slopes of Renaissance Vineyards, March 31, 1982 (Photo: T. Campion) |
"Renaissance Vine" newsletter [summarized]
Concerts:
March 20 and 21: Israel Trio
March 17:March 27: Renaissance Orchestra and Chorus
Karl Werner resigns from Presidency of Renaissance Vineyard and Winery, but is later reinstated.March 19:
Management changes at Renaissance?
Monday, March 15, 1982
The Psychology of the Cult Experience
"Cathie L." wrote on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, June 4, 2015:
“Although it is possible for those who have left cults to integrate their experience into their lives in healthy ways, many are unable to.”
http://www.nytimes.com/1982/03/15/style/the-psychology-of-the-cult-experience.html?pagewanted=1
[ed. - The text of the NYT article, published on the Ides of March, follows.]
New York Times
by Glenn Collins
The same story makes the headlines again and again. An anguished family is trying to "rescue" its child, who has, the parents charge, been "stolen" by a cult, sometimes after only a single weekend of involvement. The parents describe the child as a humorless "zombie" - where formerly he or she was self-possessed, intelligent and completely "normal." And, as family members begin to consult the clergy, lawyers and deprogrammers, they keep expressing confusion about exactly what has happened, and why.
A new understanding of the psychology of the cult experience is emerging from the work of researchers and clinicians who have studied current and former cult members. While stating that not all cults are necessarily psychologically damaging to their members, the researchers' findings offer insights about the proper treatment of those who have been harmed, as well as the techniques that cults use to hold the loyalty of old members and attract new ones.
Some researchers suggest that the study of the cult experience has important implications for theories about the functioning of the human brain.
"Many cult groups have developed basically similar and quite compelling conversion techniques for exploiting the vulnerabilities of potential converts," said John G. Clark Jr., an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the Harvard University Medical School. The Marks of a New Disease
Dr. Clark has, in his private practice and with colleagues in Boston, treated and studied more than 500 current and former cult members since 1974. "In some respects," he said, "the destructive effects of cult conversions amount to a new disease in an era of psychological manipulation."
"When kids come out of cults, they have symptoms you just don't normally see," said Stanley H. Cath, a psychoanalyst and associate professor of psychiatry at the Tufts University School of Medicine who has treated and studied 60 former cult members over the last decade. "But many practitioners are ignorant of this 'disease,' and don't know how to treat it."
Although the researchers said it is possible for those who have left cults to integrate their experience into their lives in healthy ways, many are unable to. Among the common negative characteristics exhibited by the former cult members studied, said Dr. Clark, are depression, guilt, fear, paranoia, slow speech, rigidity of facial expression and body posture, indifference to physical appearance, passivity and memory impairment.
Robert Jay Lifton, professor of psychiatry at Yale University Medical School, said that many in the psychological professions may not be aware of, or deny the existence of, clinical difficulties posed by cults. "There is a widespread misunderstanding of the phenomenon of persuasion that can bring about intense change in people," he said. A Matter of Brainwashing
Margaret T. Singer, professor of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, said, "The techniques of many cults fall under the general rubric of brainwashing." Dr. Singer has studied 700 cult members since 1974, and has investigated mind-control techniques since she did research on repatriated American prisoners of war for the Army during the Korean War.
"Consciously and manipulatively," said Dr. Singer, "cult leaders and their trainers exert a systematic social influence that can produce great behavioral changes."
Dr. Singer explained that such groups "have taken techniques from the human-potential movement, from the encounter, sensitivity training and humanistic-psychology movements, and combined them with cult ideology and persuasive sales methods - and packaged them in various combinations."
Dr. Singer estimates that there are 2,500 to 3,000 cults in the United States, "with dozens of small cults too numerous to keep track of." The number of cult members nationally is variously estimated at 300,000 to three million.
Not all cults are destructive, the researchers said, and many of those who join and remain in cults do so out of a sincere quest for religious connection. Whether or not a cult is destructive is determined by the morality of the cult leader and the nature of the leader's charismatic dream, said Dr. Cath. "Most of the malign cults are frightening to people when their tenets are revealed, as with the People's Temple after Jonestown," he said. A Cult Defined
Dr. Cath defined a cult as a group of people joined together by a common ideological system fostered by a charismatic leader, where, he said, "the expectation is that they can transcend the imperfections and finitude of life."
He said: "Often they set up a we-they philosophy: We have the truth and you do not." In what Dr. Clark called healthy, valid groups, conversion is achieved in good faith without coercion, and the individual is encouraged to reconcile himself to his history, his family and his culture, even when he may be working for change in his society. "But in destructive cults," said Dr. Clark, "current and prior connectedness is denied."
Dr. Clark said that the pattern of manipulated cult conversions may not appear especially radical to outsiders, since no one is beaten or otherwise physically harmed. "But hundreds of ex-cult members and their families have attested to the enticement practices of these groups," he said. "Under the force of the conversion experience, people disappeared from their families and changed, sometimes after only a few days."
Dr. Clark is one of the founders of the Boston Personal Development Institute, a nonprofit group that treats former cult members and advises their families. He and his associates there have treated former members of the Unification Church, the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, Scientology, the Way International, the Divine Light Mission, the Children of God, the Church of Bible Understanding and smaller, less-prominent groups. From the Middle Classes
The majority of those studied by Dr. Clark were from the middle and upper middle classes and ranged in age from 15 to 31. Most of those treated by Dr. Cath range in age from 13 to the mid-20's, but some are in their 50's and older. Their average age is 19 1/2. More are male than female.
Frequently they are intelligent youths from sheltered environments who have had contact with religion but rejected it, Dr. Cath says. He believes that many have a history of failing to achieve intimacy, of blaming others for their failures and of constantly striving for perfectionistic goals.
But Dr. Clark feels there is no standard profile of the "destructive-cult victim." "Orthodox psychiatric opinion has generally viewed conversion to deviant groups as a function of longstanding conflicts within individuals," he said. "Our evidence strongly suggests that these individuals are succumbing to pressures within the cult milieu - pressures that can induce radical personality changes as easily in normally developing people as among disturbed ones."
Dr. Singer said that the 700 cult members she had studied presented a wide range of personality types. "You don't have to be a certain kind of person to succumb to the cults," she said.
A typical manipulated conversion, Dr. Clark said, involves a vulnerable person - a student leaving home, or at exam time, or someone who has lost a friend or lover - who is enticed by some reward: companionship, peace of mind, a place to stay or an implied sexual offering. "Cult recruiters frequent bus stations, airports, campuses, libraries, rallies, anywhere that unattached persons are likely to be passing through," he said.
"Then they narrow the attention of the recruit, in controlled social situations," Dr. Clark said. "He or she is invited to attend a special function, or series of classes. Cult members are assigned to attend the prospect constantly. Eventually they keep the mark involved in group-ecstatic activities, or use meditation, obsessive praying, constant lecturing or preaching or lack of sleep to maintain the mind in a constantly debilitated state." A Crisis Is Manufactured.
At some point during the experience, he said, "the mark is placed in a panicky, disoriented state, and an emotional crisis is manufactured by the recruiters." One response to this, Dr. Clark said, is that people can become psychotic. He has treated those who became so and were "dumped" by cults that had no further interest in them.
"Another response," he said, "is that they can adapt to the situation, and accept the 'answer' or 'solution' to the crisis that the cult furnishes them with. To survive, they reidentify with their surroundings, and accept the dogma of the group."
Dr. Singer believes that there is increasing awareness of cults among mental-health professionals, especially in campus milieus where the activities of the recruiters and the effects on students are well known. "But too many professionals automatically link cult involvement to psychopathology," she said.
"There is a great need for psychiatric humility here," said Dr. Lifton of Yale. "I think it might be stressed that the whole cult phenomenon is a social, psychological, spiritual and economic problem, and the answer may not be psychiatric at all."
Dr. Clark said he does not work with deprogrammers. "However," he said, "before therapy can take place, the patient's attention has to be gotten, and the patient needs information about the cult group. In that sense, deprogramming has a dignified provenance."
The researchers said that some of those who had joined cults had simply chosen the lesser of two evils - especially teen-agers who had escaped destructive family situations by joining cults.
A number of those interviewed, including Dr. Cath and Dr. Clark, said they had successfully treated former cult members. "Usually we can put the pieces back together again with the help of family and friends," said Dr. Clark. A Bearing on Brain Research
Several of the researchers believe that the studies of cult members may revise current theories about the workings of the brain. Dr. Cath and Dr. Clark, working independently, have been intrigued that the experiences described by cult members resemble personality changes regularly associated with disorders of the temporal lobe of the brain.
"The symptoms of temporal lobe epilepsy," said Dr. Clark, "are similar to those seen or reported as resulting from cult conversions: increased irritability, loss of libido or altered sexual interest; ritualism, compulsive attention to detail, mystical states, humorlessness and sobriety, heightened paranoia."
Dr. Cath said: "Keeping devotees constantly fatigued, deprived of sensory input and suffering protein deprivation, working extremely long hours in street solicitation or in cult-owned businesses, engaging in monotonous chanting and rhythmical singing, may induce psychophysiological changes in the brain. The rhythmical movement of the body can lead to altered states of consciousness, and changes in the pressure or vibration pattern of the brain may affect the temporal lobe."
Dr. Clark hypothesized that what he calls the "cult-conversion syndrome" represents an overload of the brain's ability to process information. He said: "The unending personalized attention given to recruits during the conversion experience works to overload the prospect's information-processing capacity. This has another important function: the induction of trancelike states. Cult proselytizers then exploit the recruit's suggestibility."
Tuesday, March 9, 1982
The nursery school will have no connection to the Fellowship
[ed. - Fellowship of Friends denials and obfuscation began long ago. Here's a sample from 1982. This later evolved into the Fellowship-connected Lewis Carroll School. "The Lewis Carroll School Association" behind the school was governed by Fellowship members.]
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Appeal-Democrat |
"Board Deadlocks On Hill Nursery School"
Marysville-Yuba Appeal-Democrat
Tuesday, March 02, 1982
Yuba County Supervisors deadlocked 2-2 today on whether to permit a member of the Fellowship of Friends to operate a nursery school in Oregon House.
The tie vote in effect upheld a Planning Commission decision denying a use permit to operate the school, but the matter will be brought back before the board next week, when all five supervisors are expected to be present.
Supervisors George Deveraux and Charlie Parker voted against a motion of Supervisor John R. Dower to reverse the Planning Commission action and issue a use permit. The motion was supported by Supervisor Charles Center but with the absence of Supervisor Doug Waltz, the board deadlocked 2-2.
Peter Dragovich appealed the Planning denial of a permit to operate the school. Dragovich is a member of the Fellowship of Friends, which has large property holdings in the Oregon House area, but insisted that the school would have no connection with the Fellowship.
County Counsel Dennis Barlow advised the board that could not be considered in assessing his application for a use permit.
"Hill Nursery School to Get Permit"
Marysville-Yuba City Appeal-Democrat
March 9, 1982:
Fellowship of Friends member Peter Dragovich today won his permit to operate a nursery school in Oregon as Yuba County supervisors voted 3-2 to overturn a Planning Commission decision denying him the permit.
Last week, in the absence of Supervisor Doug Waltz, the board deadlocked 2-2 on Dragovich's appeal. Today, Waltz voted to grant the appeal and he was joined by Supervisors John R. Dower and Charles Center. Supervisors George Deveraux and Charlie Parker voted against granting the permit, as they did last week.
Dower made the motion to grant the permit "based on evidence presented pertinent to the appeal" that "the site is an appropriate one for the proposed use."
Most of the controversy about Dragovich 's proposed nursery school on Rice's Crossing Road centers on his membership in the Fellowship of Friends. Several former members appeared before the board in opposition to the project, arguing that the philosophy of the Fellowship is such that children will be harmed by being exposed to it.
Dragovich, however, denied that the nursery will be to connected to the Fellowship.
And County Counsel Dennis Barlow advised the board that had Dragovich's "religion" had no bearing on the question of whether to grant him a permit to operate the nursery school.
Opponents also argued that the school would create traffic problems on Rice's Crossing Road, which they said is already hazardous.
In voting against granting the permit, Parker and Deveraux cited traffic problems on the road.
Monday, March 1, 1982
Lance White's story
[ed. - See also "A Fireside Chat with Lance White - Zany Mystic"]
Excerpted from Tales of a Zany Mystic:
Malibu 1977. Shopping for an "esoteric school" is not like going to the grocery store. More care should be applied to finding what you need. Reckless romantic that I am, caution was thrown to the wind in my new found goal. It didn't take long to find a bookmark in one of the "work books", as they're called by insiders, and I was effervescent to find a "Center" in Malibu. I called and spoke with a mysterious sounding person, adding fuel to the imaginary fire. There was a "prospective student meeting" that night. Several hours later, I arrived at an inconspicuous home, scared out of my wits. I never met people involved in "secret schools". All I knew was that everyone there knew something I didn't know. The question was, "Is it something I want? ". A small stage loomed in front where an attractive, commanding woman with red hair led. Her name was Helga Barth. Two others sat on either side, all austere. It felt like walking into a library with your zipper undone, spinach in your teeth and squeaky shoes. I was never to lose that feeling, no matter how "high up" the evolutionary ladder I climbed. An invisible hierarchy of ego is easily mistaken for wisdom.
http://www.gurdjieff.org/sharpe.htm
The basic ideas of the "system" were relayed; man is a machine, comprised of not one "I" but "many I’s".
As a result, we are all machines, asleep at the wheel. To confound the problem, we imagine we're "awake". It is precisely this illusion which keeps us from actually "awakening" to our true condition and evolving out of it. The only way out is to become conscious, united within, with a permanent "I". As it is, each "I" rules the moment, and to keep the illusion in place, our name doesn't change, providing a sense of unity. Buffers, like those used to cushion railway cars, keep us from seeing ourselves. We compartmentalize our lives and often have no idea that we are doing something contradictory. A rageaholic says, "You'll never meet a nicer guy", and continues to be the only person who doesn't know he's a prick. I met "straight" and married men who would have sex while drunk, then not remember or would justify by saying, "Oh, I was drunk!", if confronted. None of this was new, but there was a dramatic urgency to their delivery. The most unforgettable moment was when Susan rose and placed a bowl of fruit on her head. Walking across the stage she said, "We don't remember ourselves. We only remember memorable moments" She was right. We broke for intermission.
Robert Burton's "school" was called the Fellowship of Friends, now referred to as APOLLO.
Didn't that missile explode in space?

http://www.apollo.org/
Outside on the patio, smoking up a storm, laughing, and telling stories was the female version of "Jobba the Hut". She looked like Phyllis Diller in drag with enormous bedroom eyes shadowed bright blue, pink lipstick and a "wrap" like a feather boa. This lady held court. Scared, shy and awestruck, I sat nearby to soak in some wisdom. Her name is Stella Wirk. She and her husband, Harold, were two of the first "students" in the school, run by Robert Burton.
Harold's website: https://web.archive.org/web/20070815005804/http://stellawk.addr.com/
I didn't know it then, but they would become lifelong friends, in and out of the school. Though she has passed, her irreverent way of teaching can never be for-gotten or replaced. That meeting was 29 years ago. Harold's impish humor and ability to poke fun at anything and everything remains intact. An accomplished artist, he paints murals, draws character sketches and creates hilarious "cartoons" with three precious dogs in Reno, Nevada. We remain in contact to this day.
Stella conveyed deep wisdom through humor. I learned more from sitting at her "round tables" shrouded in cigarette smoke, than I did from the "Teacher". Oh, don't get me wrong; he's quite an imposing figure, and my contacts with him were all "interesting". However, there's more to this story, some of it covered with scandal like a filet mignon smothered in sauteed mushrooms. It felt like I was "auditioning" for entrance into an exclusive club. Prospective students were required to attend 3 meetings before they could join. At that time, entry would be discussed and payments, which were not optional, could commence. Getting in was easy. It was getting out that was a bitch! Of course, I joined. I drove to as many meetings in Malibu as possible, two or three per week. A blank page, a sponge soaking up every detail, I couldn't get enough. My "addictive personality" had found a new home in an "esoteric school". The school's private ranch is located in Oregon House. I was shown the ropes and told I could go up there on weekends to be around the Teacher, and to work, a principle of payment. Slave labor is more like it. Imagine thousands of people around the globe who PAY to donate their time and energy by working on a ranch. What a racket. Hats off to anyone who can compel others to do so, and the Teacher was quite successful. In fact, he had high powered lawyers, physicians and a Wine Consultant leading the construction of a winery, now finished. The main house was called the Lincoln Lodge. Today the school is called "Renaissance". However, it wouldn't surprise me to discover it had been renamed, "Garden of Eden". The Teacher, of course, was God...the ONLY God; aren't they all?
My first visit was unforgettable. We arrived very late in the morning, about 2:00 a.m. Excitement mounted as we turned onto the property. Mysterious energies seemed to hover in the air. I was taken into the Lodge, and told I could sleep "wherever I could find a space". Dozens of sleeping bags littered the floor so I cautiously crept upstairs, stepping over a couple of bodies. The heater kicked on, whirring a warm breeze. Carpets, thick and plush, squished underneath my feet. The perfect spot located under the front window guided my tired limbs. A fat cow of a moon streamed in, blending with the subtle glow of the room. In my cocoon of a bag, like a chrysalis waiting to emerge, romantic visions danced in my mind of conscious energies penetrating every cell. Regardless of the Teacher's level, there was no question in my mind that conscious forces were at work, and I was at the heart of them.
Everything was new and exciting. Where to shower, when to eat, where I was "supposed to work", all of it nestled firmly in the realm of the unknown. Gurdjieff used to go to great lengths to create this experience for those "working on themselves" by creating "shocks" and destroying patterns. This is called "being out of patterns". It can be done as easily as changing one's habitual activities, be they emotional, instinctive or involving movement. It may be as simple as driving or walking a different way to work each day. Learning not to express negativity is positive training for the emotions. Quantum physics is validating this simple truth: fixed behavior and thought become obstacles to accurate perception and to expanding the mind. However, the point is not to continue doing everything differently. As one awakens, it’s also important to have habitual patterns in place when higher energies are channeled through us. We are transmitters and receivers, like cosmic antennae. It would be unconscious behavior to awaken and then force yourself into some preconceived idea about what it's supposed to be like. We are all at various stages in the awakening process.
The truth is so miraculous and astonishing that it will blow you away. We can only take so much at a time. Patterns dissolve as higher frequencies are tuned into. During those moments, which can be extremely intense, the energy must go somewhere. If it is a Kundalini Experience, which many have spontaneously, it's vital to let the energy from the base chakra UP and OUT through the top of the head. Attempting to contain it can cause damage, insanity or death. In the past, only those who had studied a long while with a teacher and who meditated many hours a day could "get it", and even then it was not guaranteed. Today, higher frequencies are beaming upon us continually and as we approach the shift in consciousness, whenever that may be, it's vital to strive towards balance, integrity and love. The heart is the center, or key to all possibilities. Open the door to your heart and you will discover everything you've ever dreamed of - and more. On Kundalini: http://www.soulwise.net/99briga00.htm
At daylight, the lodge took on a whole new appearance. The bottom floor was simply furnished. A spiral staircase wound upwards opposite the entrance, leading to a private room dubbed "The Meissen Room". This was where the Teacher "held court" nightly, dispensing his brand of the teaching, which was a mix of prophecy, alchemy and self-aggrandizement. Twelve places were laid, including his own, no accident indeed. A feeling of opulence was enhanced with elegant antique cases filled with priceless Meissen figurines, hand-picked from sojourns around the world.
Original oil paintings graced rich paneled walls, balanced by a Roman urn in one corner. A scribe stood nearby, writing every word from the Teacher's mouth, to be edited and published in journals. I had dinner there many times, asked a few questions, and felt very present at these uncomfortable meals. To say one "enjoyed" dinner with the Teacher would be ridiculous. There was no such thing as enjoyment. It was more like sitting on a pin cushion for an hour without being able to remove the pins. Heaven help you if the Teacher spoke directly to you. It has to be the most awkward experience of a lifetime, as designed. An excellent chance to see "false personality" in action.
I flew up to the "ranch" as often as possible. I lived to go there, work all day and continue most of the night. Meals were beyond anything served in the finest restaurant. One of the ideas developed by Robert was that of alchemy. Refining coarse matter into finer is the essence of transformation, turning base metals like lead into gold. Alchemy is about raising consciousness, not getting rich. He got the best of both worlds! Initially, I was assigned to work outdoors, performing physical labor. The Lincoln Lodge is located at the top of a gently sloping hill. Half way down there is a discreet spot created for older students who own matching silver Airstream trailers.
Further down, a barn housed machinery, and at the base of the hill a small residence stands alone where Robert lived when not traveling. My favorite place drew me in like a magnet: the kitchen. I love cooking. Everything is done with attention and intention. Being present is key. Many wonderful conversations occurred over chopping vegetables attempting to "remember ourselves". Wisdom and love expressed itself in that room, a greater teaching place than weekly meetings held in Berkeley. Various exercises were imposed by the Teacher for all, in addition to private "tasks". All were required to follow the "word exercise" which entailed not saying "I". Anyone who said "I" was reminded by a silent hand gesture, sometimes accompanied with a "photograph" of sleep by saying, "You used the word I". As "self-remembering" was the purpose of these exercises, students would "photograph" each other when the task was forgotten. Most referred to themselves as "it", which became as automatic as saying "I". This was embarrassing and humorous when ordering food at restaurants. Rather than disobeying the word exercise, students would order by saying, "It would like a cup of coffee". If you could see the strange looks some of the waitresses gave us! Older gals knew "the kooks from up North", and shook their heads while rolling eye-balls the moment we walked through the door.
Life at "the Ranch" was a constant wonderland. One might go from pulling weeds to peeling carrots, to dressing in suit and tie to dine in the most magnificent room in California, the "Meissen Room". Of course, that was over 27 years ago, and I suspect these descriptions are long outdated. Robert was truly "King" of this Empire, and everyone emulated his "self-effacing, humble walk". Tall, broad shouldered, he carried himself as if he was but a lowly servant, slightly hunched down with a peasant's shuffle. Of course, he wore silk suits and magnificent rings, not unlike Liberace, but a tad more elegant and "discreet" about his obvious penchant for the Divine Feminine. His Queen was safely tucked away inside, for private consumption only. With student donations pouring in, and "special donations" ranging from $400.00 and up, the man raked it in. By now, he must be a billionaire several times over. Before I left, the concert hall was completed. There were several classical concerts held in opulent elegance beyond description.
I wanted to move there, as others had done, to accelerate my "evolution". A lot of bad press has been spun about Robert, but my experiences were magical. Regardless of anyone's bitter opinions about him, there's a lot of jealousy in "esoteric circles", and most people that are "into" Fourth Way ideas are spiritual snobs. Many are effete intellectuals, for whom being superior consists of making everyone else inferior. Robert never had to work at that, his presence created the feeling that one was dramatically "less than". I got permission to move there, and promptly did. At first, I slept in the Lincoln Lodge. To support myself, I worked at a local hospital in the emergency room. The head nurse was a Witch with a "B". As "ward clerk", my job was to register those seeking treatment. Two incidents created memory, both during full moons. The first was a dignified man sporting a scarf held in place with one hand. When asked why he was there, he peeled away the scarf to reveal a huge gaping slash in his throat, nothing short of a bloody hole. He'd attempted suicide, passed out after slashing his throat, and woke up in a pool of blood. Well, what's a fellow to do? The other is a bit funnier. Two boys got to arguing at the bar, not uncommon, and started shooting guns at each other. One was grazed on the arm, the other had barely escaped with his genitalia intact. One more millimeter in either direction, and he would have been castrated!
Being present, "out of patterns" and self-observation were part of daily life 24 hours a day. The goal was to permanently attain higher levels of consciousness, complete our own evolution, and escape death. The "system" taught that man is capable of 7 levels of consciousness, but is born using only three. The first three apply to three dimensions of space and time, exemplified by the five senses. This is all considered a "sleeping state" in relation to being an awakened or enlightened being. The Fourth State is acquired through one's own efforts, by "working on oneself'. One creates an "observing I", then a Steward, and last a Master. The levels increase with dimension. In our ordinary state we have accidental moments of higher consciousness, or "4th state" experiences when brought near death or sufficiently shocked. As one cannot rely on shocks or death to achieve higher awareness, conditions for awakening are created by conscious schools. It is one's own responsibility to verify the source is connected to "C Influence" or higher Celestial energies.
The most remarkable evening occurred when the Teacher claimed he was "crystallizing" as a "man number five". He left the property and stayed in a hotel room with a few members of his "inner circle". The entire Fellowship waited breathlessly for this "transformation" to occur. Finally, we were told it had not happened "on time". Extravagant festivities were placed on hold. Finally, it was official: the Teacher had "crystallized", meaning permanent transformation. Flowers were brought in by the truckload, white trellises were installed with hanging oriental lanterns. Fine wines, hors d'oeuvres and an elaborate "dinner" was planned and executed. It was an enormous success, and we all mingled, drinking voluptuously. Late that night, trellises interwoven with roses, greenery and tulips, lit Japanese lanterns gently blowing in the breeze, created eerie and unforgettable images as their shadows played in the wind. I cleared a space in the mountains from scratch, and pitched my tent.
My best friend, Randolph Giddings, was a "sister". For 3 1/2 years I was celibate. There were no rules to my knowledge that forbade sex with other students, but there was so much happening, it just didn't occur to me. Alcohol was my best companion and Randolph was the funniest Queen I had ever met. He could be profoundly spiritual, then catty as a bitch in a nanosecond, like the Queen of Hearts from "Alice in Wonderland". I learned much from his "evolving soul". He left the Fellowship as well, and I discovered that he became a successful chef at a high class restaurant in Carmel, addicted to speed and an obsessive relationship. He died of substance abuse. Rest in peace dear friend.
After a couple of years, many wonderful friendships and special moments wrote themselves onto the landscape of my soul. The school was expanding, not only to other countries but now to many states in the Americas. Eventually, I was asked to help open a "Center" in Saint Louis, Missouri.

The purpose of these centers was to spread the word, create opportunities to "work on oneself', but I suspect the underlying reason was to make more money. Be that as it may, I would accompany 6 students who would travel there, locate a suitable "teaching house", and begin offering prospective student meetings. My friend, Marcelle Bishop, was headed to Ohio, so we decided to "caravan" together. What a fun trip! It was "eye opening" to reach the dry states, where liquor was hidden behind the bar, and only members could stash their bottles. I had to bribe the bartender to serve us, as I was feeling "dry mouthed" and needed a stiff drink or three. The teaching didn't discourage the consumption of "fine wines", and some of us took that to mean any liquor. No one needs a license to become an alcoholic. A winery was being built as part of the "civilizing influence" Robert was creating for the fall of civilization. For me, it was an opportunity to get drunk every night. Being "present" could be very stressful.
Saint Louis was no picnic. I didn't like the other students, so there were "personality clashes" from day one. The house we ended up with was beautiful. In the "better suburbs" of Kirkwood, our split-level ranch house included basement, pool table and wet bar. I spent a lot of time in the basement. My alcoholism increased exponentially. Having to work full time, hide being "gay" in the middle of Saint Louis, then come home and be part of a prospective student meeting was "trying". I was also attempting to establish a career in the restaurant business. As alcohol was sold, and I was a manager trainee, many evening hours doing inventory included a few glasses of house wine. Another of my jobs included selling death insurance door to door in the country where the rednecks lived. One town had a rustic bar where I stopped for "reinforcements". The "city slicker" had arrived. Locals, who witnessed shootings, proudly pointed to the walls riddled with gunshot. Someone asked if I ever had "ever clear". Not knowing what it was, I said "no". They looked at each other with Cheshire cat grins; the game's afoot, Watson. A shot glass appeared in front of me with a clear liquid.
I downed it. A bit rough, it hit the spot. Little did I know it was almost a hundred proof! The dudes were amply amazed when I polished off several in a row and was still sitting on my stool. Years later, I would do that in bars in the Castro District and not be so lucky. The floor became one of my better friends in the bar scene. Besides, you can talk to a floor and it understands you.
My career selling insurance was brief, and becoming a manager for a Howard Johnson's chain seemed easier. That was "magical thinking'. Assistant managers are glorified slaves. They do everything. Expected to know each person's job intimately, I was trained for two weeks or more on the grill, then as a dish-washer, as a waiter and so on. When someone called in sick, guess who would have to pull a double shift? Hell would have been more fun. At one of their "bashes", a promotion which I thought was "in the bag" went to someone else. I reeked of self pity and disillusionment - didn't they know I was the best man for the job? I drank myself into a stupor. It was Winter and the drive home was 15 miles away on a snow covered freeway that was as blitzed as I was. No one else was on the road around 2:30 a.m. What kind of self-hypnosis makes us imagine we can drive, no matter how plastered? I always thought I could drive drunk. After traversing several miles, I either "passed out" at the wheel, or thought that if I followed the car in front of me, I could "wing it", or both. The car in front of me was actually someone who had a flat tire, whose who stopped for repairs. I hit him point blank going about 50 mph dressed in a three piece suit. A resounding BANG jolted me from unconsciousness. All I remember is the sound of glass breaking and an enormous "crunch". My first reaction was to scramble out of the car before it blew up. I was able to open the driver door and stepped into the crisp night air. Horrified, I turned around to see the car bent in two, the engine completely flattened, pointing upwards, L-shaped. This was no compact car, but a rolling tank, a Pontiac LeMans. Steam rose. Terror struck. Had I killed anyone? Would I be arrested for drunk driving? What would become of me? The most astonishing aspect of this wreck was first, that I was alive, second that the other guy was not injured, and lastly that my 3 piece suit was perfectly intact, not one button undone. Being totally "limp" from booze no doubt saved my life. I walked away unscathed, but not from the "justice system". I was arrested.
An angel must have been with me then, and the days which followed, since one of the new students was a lawyer. She advised me for free, and represented me in court. I got off with a minor fine. This was not my last drunken car accident. Eventually, the center was closed, while other centers remained open with "reinforcements". Sounds like Iraq. I found a way to get back to California by driving a new car back for money. To be near the Berkeley meetings, I moved into the LaFayette House in LaFayette, California. At this point, I was a drunken mess. I made passes at all the other students, male or female, threw temper tantrums in my room, even tossed my pet parakeet, cage and all sailing in the air. She was uninjured, but the plates and glasses didn't fare as well. We had a swimming pool, but I can't remember much about it, being literally numb all the time. I do remember talking to my mother, estranged since my hasty departure from Santa Barbara. I told her it was her "fault" that I was gay. She snapped back at me, "Don't try laying that on my doorstep!" admonishing that what I did was my choice. She was right, of course; layers of denial.
Back to a job I knew, I worked as a waiter. On Christmas Eve, someone called in sick, and I was called in. A chronic codependent, I said "yes". My alcoholism dictated that I keep my job by acting normal at all costs, though inside I was in deep emotional pain, not wanting to face my own sexuality, or my unhappiness with the school. It was another dark night of the soul, and we were brain-washed into believing that those who leave an esoteric school are "dead", doomed to repeat lifetimes of descending cycles of devolution. Those exact words weren't used, but the emotional feeling was identical. I had turned into my own father, a blackout drinker. I hated myself.
Speaking of my father, it was precisely at this time that he wanted to visit me. We'd been estranged for many years, but I agreed. I remember him in my bedroom, trembling in fear, relaying his story about having to flee California. After I ran away, he became friendly with the neighbor kids, in particular two adolescent boys next door. One of them, Larry, approached him at 12 or 13 years old and told him he had a present, his hand down the front of his pants. My Dad says he asked what it was, and Larry coyly ran into the enclosed back yard, to be chased. Dad took the bait - it truly was "jail bait". Thus began a "love affair" which lasted about a year. My father, in addition to being a reclusive alcoholic, was a pedophile. He encouraged the boys and girls to bathe in the outdoor pond naked. Pictures were taken. There was also a collection of gay male pornography. I know, because when I lived there I found it under his mattress! The neighbors saw kids coming and going, him making "wine runs" and Larry's mother got suspicious. She wrestled enough information out of her boys to call the vice squad who stormed the house to discover homemade films, magazines and pictures. He was told, "You have two choices: either get out of town or go to jail. You have one week to decide". He decided to leave. His visit to me, in Northern California, was his exit, stage left It brought us back together again. He ended up in South Carolina for many years.
It was Christmas Eve and I had only one table, a demanding group of twenty. I jumped through hoops like a trained circus animal and they left me no tip. It was too much. If I could have committed suicide in that moment, I would have. Someone saw my plight and offered a mild muscle relaxant. I had one cocktail before leaving, but it must have been added to a vast repository of alcohol already stirring inside my body, for the mixture sent me into another blackout. I drove an enormous 1979 Lincoln Continental with reversed doors. I figured, from my last accident, bigger was better. I was right, of course. On my way home, I blacked out at the wheel again only this time I hit a granite lamp post, breaking it in two from the impact. I don't remember anything, yet I walked over a mile to the house in a blackout, nose squashed into my head, unaware of severe injuries. It was shock commingled with blackout. Once again, angels must have been watching over me. The police traced my wrecked abandoned car to the house. Apparently, I argued with them about going to the Emergency Room and was told, like my father, "It's either the Emergency Room or JAIL". I left instantly. We become just like our fathers, eh?

The hand of Providence stepped in again. A plastic surgeon was on duty Christmas Eve in the Emergency Room. My fractures required facial reconstruction and a nose job. I had a big nose most of my life, causing no end of insecurity. The required surgery was performed that night. Had it been another day that passed, everything would need to be broken. I awoke looking like King Tut covered in white bandages around my head and one eye, the other eye covered by an inverted cup. I was blind for almost a week. At least I got a nose job out of it. The surgeon was from the Philippines, so all of his "noses" looked like Mrs. Cory Acquino. I hated it at first, but I was alive to drink another day, and that was all I cared about. Life had no meaning for me. At this time, I traveled back and forth to "the ranch". One occasion, I got a ride with a tall, slender, good looking male, an architect. We stopped by his apartment before the final leg of the journey, and he made a pass at me. I wasn't really attracted, and it had been years since I'd had sex, so frankly I didn't know what to do. Besides, my own sexuality remained a mystery to all but me.
A day later, I was told "the Teacher wants to see you at the Lincoln Lodge". Somewhat excited, yet apprehensive, I sat next to him in an overstuffed chair. He told me that my architect friend had asked if it was okay to have sex with another male and had spilled his guts. Bad idea. We were both given "the task" of not ever having sex with other males. Robert said, with a sweeping gesture in the air, "Can't you see...there's so much more..." and that was that. You didn't argue with the Teacher. Period. Depressed, I felt that the school was becoming "too restrictive". Slowly, like a society that is being modified and controlled, it goes largely unnoticed - until it's too late. I felt the school was turning into, or already was, a cult. I couldn't see why being homosexual should limit my spiritual advancement.
Not only that, I was one horny male, after years of celibacy. I told Randolph that I was going to leave. He hated to see me go, but understood completely. We embraced and said goodbye. It seemed "logical" to make my escape to San Francisco, a doomed failure and raging alcoholic.
I ended up living in the Haight Ashbury with a buffed Queen who was rarely home, living the "perfect life" of a fag: the gym, polished copper pots, and two alcoholic roommates. The bars nearby became my new home. Dealing with leaving a school, believing one is basically doomed, is a dark shadow from which to emerge. Many other students either left at that time, or were asked to leave, especially if they "knew too much". My good friends, Stella and Harold, who had opened a center in Amsterdam, were asked to leave, having disobeyed the "no smoking" rule. Several years later I got in touch with Stella, and the truth came out. Robert had been blackmailing the straight male students, and their underage boys, into having sex with him. They were told point blank if they didn't comply, they'd be out of the school. This had been going on from the beginning. Robert's "inner circle" had nothing to do with level of consciousness. It had to do with who could do his bidding and keep their mouths shut. Those were the ones who ended up in "special positions" either traveling with him, sitting next to him at enormous meetings, or taking on "executive duties". One fellow was used as his "boy toy", which left indelible scars. He worked through it to eventually become a well-known artist. Those at the top seemed a bunch of arrogant scoundrels. One of the men who sat in front was a Doctor, who I bumped into at the San Francisco baths one night. He cringed and left upon seeing me. I was delighted to have left the school on my own terms, having taken what I needed. "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!", says Auntie Mame.
Stella, in the meantime, began a support group assisting those who left or were asked to leave. Many folks were suicidal. I joined the group, and more sordid details of Robert's sexual machinations were revealed, including a class action lawsuit that ended up settling "out of court".
[Continue reading at Zany Mystic. A book is also available: Tales of a Zany Mystic at Amazon.com]
Tales of a Zany Mystic
Chapter Three
Gurdjieff-Ouspensky School
"The greatest man in the world has recently died. His name was Gurdjieff” - Frank Lloyd Wright
Malibu 1977. Shopping for an "esoteric school" is not like going to the grocery store. More care should be applied to finding what you need. Reckless romantic that I am, caution was thrown to the wind in my new found goal. It didn't take long to find a bookmark in one of the "work books", as they're called by insiders, and I was effervescent to find a "Center" in Malibu. I called and spoke with a mysterious sounding person, adding fuel to the imaginary fire. There was a "prospective student meeting" that night. Several hours later, I arrived at an inconspicuous home, scared out of my wits. I never met people involved in "secret schools". All I knew was that everyone there knew something I didn't know. The question was, "Is it something I want? ". A small stage loomed in front where an attractive, commanding woman with red hair led. Her name was Helga Barth. Two others sat on either side, all austere. It felt like walking into a library with your zipper undone, spinach in your teeth and squeaky shoes. I was never to lose that feeling, no matter how "high up" the evolutionary ladder I climbed. An invisible hierarchy of ego is easily mistaken for wisdom.
http://www.gurdjieff.org/sharpe.htm
The basic ideas of the "system" were relayed; man is a machine, comprised of not one "I" but "many I’s".
As a result, we are all machines, asleep at the wheel. To confound the problem, we imagine we're "awake". It is precisely this illusion which keeps us from actually "awakening" to our true condition and evolving out of it. The only way out is to become conscious, united within, with a permanent "I". As it is, each "I" rules the moment, and to keep the illusion in place, our name doesn't change, providing a sense of unity. Buffers, like those used to cushion railway cars, keep us from seeing ourselves. We compartmentalize our lives and often have no idea that we are doing something contradictory. A rageaholic says, "You'll never meet a nicer guy", and continues to be the only person who doesn't know he's a prick. I met "straight" and married men who would have sex while drunk, then not remember or would justify by saying, "Oh, I was drunk!", if confronted. None of this was new, but there was a dramatic urgency to their delivery. The most unforgettable moment was when Susan rose and placed a bowl of fruit on her head. Walking across the stage she said, "We don't remember ourselves. We only remember memorable moments" She was right. We broke for intermission.
Robert Burton's "school" was called the Fellowship of Friends, now referred to as APOLLO.
Didn't that missile explode in space?

http://www.apollo.org/
Outside on the patio, smoking up a storm, laughing, and telling stories was the female version of "Jobba the Hut". She looked like Phyllis Diller in drag with enormous bedroom eyes shadowed bright blue, pink lipstick and a "wrap" like a feather boa. This lady held court. Scared, shy and awestruck, I sat nearby to soak in some wisdom. Her name is Stella Wirk. She and her husband, Harold, were two of the first "students" in the school, run by Robert Burton.
Harold's website: https://web.archive.org/web/20070815005804/http://stellawk.addr.com/
I didn't know it then, but they would become lifelong friends, in and out of the school. Though she has passed, her irreverent way of teaching can never be for-gotten or replaced. That meeting was 29 years ago. Harold's impish humor and ability to poke fun at anything and everything remains intact. An accomplished artist, he paints murals, draws character sketches and creates hilarious "cartoons" with three precious dogs in Reno, Nevada. We remain in contact to this day.
Stella conveyed deep wisdom through humor. I learned more from sitting at her "round tables" shrouded in cigarette smoke, than I did from the "Teacher". Oh, don't get me wrong; he's quite an imposing figure, and my contacts with him were all "interesting". However, there's more to this story, some of it covered with scandal like a filet mignon smothered in sauteed mushrooms. It felt like I was "auditioning" for entrance into an exclusive club. Prospective students were required to attend 3 meetings before they could join. At that time, entry would be discussed and payments, which were not optional, could commence. Getting in was easy. It was getting out that was a bitch! Of course, I joined. I drove to as many meetings in Malibu as possible, two or three per week. A blank page, a sponge soaking up every detail, I couldn't get enough. My "addictive personality" had found a new home in an "esoteric school". The school's private ranch is located in Oregon House. I was shown the ropes and told I could go up there on weekends to be around the Teacher, and to work, a principle of payment. Slave labor is more like it. Imagine thousands of people around the globe who PAY to donate their time and energy by working on a ranch. What a racket. Hats off to anyone who can compel others to do so, and the Teacher was quite successful. In fact, he had high powered lawyers, physicians and a Wine Consultant leading the construction of a winery, now finished. The main house was called the Lincoln Lodge. Today the school is called "Renaissance". However, it wouldn't surprise me to discover it had been renamed, "Garden of Eden". The Teacher, of course, was God...the ONLY God; aren't they all?
My first visit was unforgettable. We arrived very late in the morning, about 2:00 a.m. Excitement mounted as we turned onto the property. Mysterious energies seemed to hover in the air. I was taken into the Lodge, and told I could sleep "wherever I could find a space". Dozens of sleeping bags littered the floor so I cautiously crept upstairs, stepping over a couple of bodies. The heater kicked on, whirring a warm breeze. Carpets, thick and plush, squished underneath my feet. The perfect spot located under the front window guided my tired limbs. A fat cow of a moon streamed in, blending with the subtle glow of the room. In my cocoon of a bag, like a chrysalis waiting to emerge, romantic visions danced in my mind of conscious energies penetrating every cell. Regardless of the Teacher's level, there was no question in my mind that conscious forces were at work, and I was at the heart of them.
Everything was new and exciting. Where to shower, when to eat, where I was "supposed to work", all of it nestled firmly in the realm of the unknown. Gurdjieff used to go to great lengths to create this experience for those "working on themselves" by creating "shocks" and destroying patterns. This is called "being out of patterns". It can be done as easily as changing one's habitual activities, be they emotional, instinctive or involving movement. It may be as simple as driving or walking a different way to work each day. Learning not to express negativity is positive training for the emotions. Quantum physics is validating this simple truth: fixed behavior and thought become obstacles to accurate perception and to expanding the mind. However, the point is not to continue doing everything differently. As one awakens, it’s also important to have habitual patterns in place when higher energies are channeled through us. We are transmitters and receivers, like cosmic antennae. It would be unconscious behavior to awaken and then force yourself into some preconceived idea about what it's supposed to be like. We are all at various stages in the awakening process.
The truth is so miraculous and astonishing that it will blow you away. We can only take so much at a time. Patterns dissolve as higher frequencies are tuned into. During those moments, which can be extremely intense, the energy must go somewhere. If it is a Kundalini Experience, which many have spontaneously, it's vital to let the energy from the base chakra UP and OUT through the top of the head. Attempting to contain it can cause damage, insanity or death. In the past, only those who had studied a long while with a teacher and who meditated many hours a day could "get it", and even then it was not guaranteed. Today, higher frequencies are beaming upon us continually and as we approach the shift in consciousness, whenever that may be, it's vital to strive towards balance, integrity and love. The heart is the center, or key to all possibilities. Open the door to your heart and you will discover everything you've ever dreamed of - and more. On Kundalini: http://www.soulwise.net/99briga00.htm
At daylight, the lodge took on a whole new appearance. The bottom floor was simply furnished. A spiral staircase wound upwards opposite the entrance, leading to a private room dubbed "The Meissen Room". This was where the Teacher "held court" nightly, dispensing his brand of the teaching, which was a mix of prophecy, alchemy and self-aggrandizement. Twelve places were laid, including his own, no accident indeed. A feeling of opulence was enhanced with elegant antique cases filled with priceless Meissen figurines, hand-picked from sojourns around the world.
Original oil paintings graced rich paneled walls, balanced by a Roman urn in one corner. A scribe stood nearby, writing every word from the Teacher's mouth, to be edited and published in journals. I had dinner there many times, asked a few questions, and felt very present at these uncomfortable meals. To say one "enjoyed" dinner with the Teacher would be ridiculous. There was no such thing as enjoyment. It was more like sitting on a pin cushion for an hour without being able to remove the pins. Heaven help you if the Teacher spoke directly to you. It has to be the most awkward experience of a lifetime, as designed. An excellent chance to see "false personality" in action.
I flew up to the "ranch" as often as possible. I lived to go there, work all day and continue most of the night. Meals were beyond anything served in the finest restaurant. One of the ideas developed by Robert was that of alchemy. Refining coarse matter into finer is the essence of transformation, turning base metals like lead into gold. Alchemy is about raising consciousness, not getting rich. He got the best of both worlds! Initially, I was assigned to work outdoors, performing physical labor. The Lincoln Lodge is located at the top of a gently sloping hill. Half way down there is a discreet spot created for older students who own matching silver Airstream trailers.
Further down, a barn housed machinery, and at the base of the hill a small residence stands alone where Robert lived when not traveling. My favorite place drew me in like a magnet: the kitchen. I love cooking. Everything is done with attention and intention. Being present is key. Many wonderful conversations occurred over chopping vegetables attempting to "remember ourselves". Wisdom and love expressed itself in that room, a greater teaching place than weekly meetings held in Berkeley. Various exercises were imposed by the Teacher for all, in addition to private "tasks". All were required to follow the "word exercise" which entailed not saying "I". Anyone who said "I" was reminded by a silent hand gesture, sometimes accompanied with a "photograph" of sleep by saying, "You used the word I". As "self-remembering" was the purpose of these exercises, students would "photograph" each other when the task was forgotten. Most referred to themselves as "it", which became as automatic as saying "I". This was embarrassing and humorous when ordering food at restaurants. Rather than disobeying the word exercise, students would order by saying, "It would like a cup of coffee". If you could see the strange looks some of the waitresses gave us! Older gals knew "the kooks from up North", and shook their heads while rolling eye-balls the moment we walked through the door.
Life at "the Ranch" was a constant wonderland. One might go from pulling weeds to peeling carrots, to dressing in suit and tie to dine in the most magnificent room in California, the "Meissen Room". Of course, that was over 27 years ago, and I suspect these descriptions are long outdated. Robert was truly "King" of this Empire, and everyone emulated his "self-effacing, humble walk". Tall, broad shouldered, he carried himself as if he was but a lowly servant, slightly hunched down with a peasant's shuffle. Of course, he wore silk suits and magnificent rings, not unlike Liberace, but a tad more elegant and "discreet" about his obvious penchant for the Divine Feminine. His Queen was safely tucked away inside, for private consumption only. With student donations pouring in, and "special donations" ranging from $400.00 and up, the man raked it in. By now, he must be a billionaire several times over. Before I left, the concert hall was completed. There were several classical concerts held in opulent elegance beyond description.
I wanted to move there, as others had done, to accelerate my "evolution". A lot of bad press has been spun about Robert, but my experiences were magical. Regardless of anyone's bitter opinions about him, there's a lot of jealousy in "esoteric circles", and most people that are "into" Fourth Way ideas are spiritual snobs. Many are effete intellectuals, for whom being superior consists of making everyone else inferior. Robert never had to work at that, his presence created the feeling that one was dramatically "less than". I got permission to move there, and promptly did. At first, I slept in the Lincoln Lodge. To support myself, I worked at a local hospital in the emergency room. The head nurse was a Witch with a "B". As "ward clerk", my job was to register those seeking treatment. Two incidents created memory, both during full moons. The first was a dignified man sporting a scarf held in place with one hand. When asked why he was there, he peeled away the scarf to reveal a huge gaping slash in his throat, nothing short of a bloody hole. He'd attempted suicide, passed out after slashing his throat, and woke up in a pool of blood. Well, what's a fellow to do? The other is a bit funnier. Two boys got to arguing at the bar, not uncommon, and started shooting guns at each other. One was grazed on the arm, the other had barely escaped with his genitalia intact. One more millimeter in either direction, and he would have been castrated!
Being present, "out of patterns" and self-observation were part of daily life 24 hours a day. The goal was to permanently attain higher levels of consciousness, complete our own evolution, and escape death. The "system" taught that man is capable of 7 levels of consciousness, but is born using only three. The first three apply to three dimensions of space and time, exemplified by the five senses. This is all considered a "sleeping state" in relation to being an awakened or enlightened being. The Fourth State is acquired through one's own efforts, by "working on oneself'. One creates an "observing I", then a Steward, and last a Master. The levels increase with dimension. In our ordinary state we have accidental moments of higher consciousness, or "4th state" experiences when brought near death or sufficiently shocked. As one cannot rely on shocks or death to achieve higher awareness, conditions for awakening are created by conscious schools. It is one's own responsibility to verify the source is connected to "C Influence" or higher Celestial energies.
The most remarkable evening occurred when the Teacher claimed he was "crystallizing" as a "man number five". He left the property and stayed in a hotel room with a few members of his "inner circle". The entire Fellowship waited breathlessly for this "transformation" to occur. Finally, we were told it had not happened "on time". Extravagant festivities were placed on hold. Finally, it was official: the Teacher had "crystallized", meaning permanent transformation. Flowers were brought in by the truckload, white trellises were installed with hanging oriental lanterns. Fine wines, hors d'oeuvres and an elaborate "dinner" was planned and executed. It was an enormous success, and we all mingled, drinking voluptuously. Late that night, trellises interwoven with roses, greenery and tulips, lit Japanese lanterns gently blowing in the breeze, created eerie and unforgettable images as their shadows played in the wind. I cleared a space in the mountains from scratch, and pitched my tent.
My best friend, Randolph Giddings, was a "sister". For 3 1/2 years I was celibate. There were no rules to my knowledge that forbade sex with other students, but there was so much happening, it just didn't occur to me. Alcohol was my best companion and Randolph was the funniest Queen I had ever met. He could be profoundly spiritual, then catty as a bitch in a nanosecond, like the Queen of Hearts from "Alice in Wonderland". I learned much from his "evolving soul". He left the Fellowship as well, and I discovered that he became a successful chef at a high class restaurant in Carmel, addicted to speed and an obsessive relationship. He died of substance abuse. Rest in peace dear friend.
After a couple of years, many wonderful friendships and special moments wrote themselves onto the landscape of my soul. The school was expanding, not only to other countries but now to many states in the Americas. Eventually, I was asked to help open a "Center" in Saint Louis, Missouri.

The purpose of these centers was to spread the word, create opportunities to "work on oneself', but I suspect the underlying reason was to make more money. Be that as it may, I would accompany 6 students who would travel there, locate a suitable "teaching house", and begin offering prospective student meetings. My friend, Marcelle Bishop, was headed to Ohio, so we decided to "caravan" together. What a fun trip! It was "eye opening" to reach the dry states, where liquor was hidden behind the bar, and only members could stash their bottles. I had to bribe the bartender to serve us, as I was feeling "dry mouthed" and needed a stiff drink or three. The teaching didn't discourage the consumption of "fine wines", and some of us took that to mean any liquor. No one needs a license to become an alcoholic. A winery was being built as part of the "civilizing influence" Robert was creating for the fall of civilization. For me, it was an opportunity to get drunk every night. Being "present" could be very stressful.
Saint Louis was no picnic. I didn't like the other students, so there were "personality clashes" from day one. The house we ended up with was beautiful. In the "better suburbs" of Kirkwood, our split-level ranch house included basement, pool table and wet bar. I spent a lot of time in the basement. My alcoholism increased exponentially. Having to work full time, hide being "gay" in the middle of Saint Louis, then come home and be part of a prospective student meeting was "trying". I was also attempting to establish a career in the restaurant business. As alcohol was sold, and I was a manager trainee, many evening hours doing inventory included a few glasses of house wine. Another of my jobs included selling death insurance door to door in the country where the rednecks lived. One town had a rustic bar where I stopped for "reinforcements". The "city slicker" had arrived. Locals, who witnessed shootings, proudly pointed to the walls riddled with gunshot. Someone asked if I ever had "ever clear". Not knowing what it was, I said "no". They looked at each other with Cheshire cat grins; the game's afoot, Watson. A shot glass appeared in front of me with a clear liquid.
I downed it. A bit rough, it hit the spot. Little did I know it was almost a hundred proof! The dudes were amply amazed when I polished off several in a row and was still sitting on my stool. Years later, I would do that in bars in the Castro District and not be so lucky. The floor became one of my better friends in the bar scene. Besides, you can talk to a floor and it understands you.
My career selling insurance was brief, and becoming a manager for a Howard Johnson's chain seemed easier. That was "magical thinking'. Assistant managers are glorified slaves. They do everything. Expected to know each person's job intimately, I was trained for two weeks or more on the grill, then as a dish-washer, as a waiter and so on. When someone called in sick, guess who would have to pull a double shift? Hell would have been more fun. At one of their "bashes", a promotion which I thought was "in the bag" went to someone else. I reeked of self pity and disillusionment - didn't they know I was the best man for the job? I drank myself into a stupor. It was Winter and the drive home was 15 miles away on a snow covered freeway that was as blitzed as I was. No one else was on the road around 2:30 a.m. What kind of self-hypnosis makes us imagine we can drive, no matter how plastered? I always thought I could drive drunk. After traversing several miles, I either "passed out" at the wheel, or thought that if I followed the car in front of me, I could "wing it", or both. The car in front of me was actually someone who had a flat tire, whose who stopped for repairs. I hit him point blank going about 50 mph dressed in a three piece suit. A resounding BANG jolted me from unconsciousness. All I remember is the sound of glass breaking and an enormous "crunch". My first reaction was to scramble out of the car before it blew up. I was able to open the driver door and stepped into the crisp night air. Horrified, I turned around to see the car bent in two, the engine completely flattened, pointing upwards, L-shaped. This was no compact car, but a rolling tank, a Pontiac LeMans. Steam rose. Terror struck. Had I killed anyone? Would I be arrested for drunk driving? What would become of me? The most astonishing aspect of this wreck was first, that I was alive, second that the other guy was not injured, and lastly that my 3 piece suit was perfectly intact, not one button undone. Being totally "limp" from booze no doubt saved my life. I walked away unscathed, but not from the "justice system". I was arrested.
An angel must have been with me then, and the days which followed, since one of the new students was a lawyer. She advised me for free, and represented me in court. I got off with a minor fine. This was not my last drunken car accident. Eventually, the center was closed, while other centers remained open with "reinforcements". Sounds like Iraq. I found a way to get back to California by driving a new car back for money. To be near the Berkeley meetings, I moved into the LaFayette House in LaFayette, California. At this point, I was a drunken mess. I made passes at all the other students, male or female, threw temper tantrums in my room, even tossed my pet parakeet, cage and all sailing in the air. She was uninjured, but the plates and glasses didn't fare as well. We had a swimming pool, but I can't remember much about it, being literally numb all the time. I do remember talking to my mother, estranged since my hasty departure from Santa Barbara. I told her it was her "fault" that I was gay. She snapped back at me, "Don't try laying that on my doorstep!" admonishing that what I did was my choice. She was right, of course; layers of denial.
Back to a job I knew, I worked as a waiter. On Christmas Eve, someone called in sick, and I was called in. A chronic codependent, I said "yes". My alcoholism dictated that I keep my job by acting normal at all costs, though inside I was in deep emotional pain, not wanting to face my own sexuality, or my unhappiness with the school. It was another dark night of the soul, and we were brain-washed into believing that those who leave an esoteric school are "dead", doomed to repeat lifetimes of descending cycles of devolution. Those exact words weren't used, but the emotional feeling was identical. I had turned into my own father, a blackout drinker. I hated myself.
Speaking of my father, it was precisely at this time that he wanted to visit me. We'd been estranged for many years, but I agreed. I remember him in my bedroom, trembling in fear, relaying his story about having to flee California. After I ran away, he became friendly with the neighbor kids, in particular two adolescent boys next door. One of them, Larry, approached him at 12 or 13 years old and told him he had a present, his hand down the front of his pants. My Dad says he asked what it was, and Larry coyly ran into the enclosed back yard, to be chased. Dad took the bait - it truly was "jail bait". Thus began a "love affair" which lasted about a year. My father, in addition to being a reclusive alcoholic, was a pedophile. He encouraged the boys and girls to bathe in the outdoor pond naked. Pictures were taken. There was also a collection of gay male pornography. I know, because when I lived there I found it under his mattress! The neighbors saw kids coming and going, him making "wine runs" and Larry's mother got suspicious. She wrestled enough information out of her boys to call the vice squad who stormed the house to discover homemade films, magazines and pictures. He was told, "You have two choices: either get out of town or go to jail. You have one week to decide". He decided to leave. His visit to me, in Northern California, was his exit, stage left It brought us back together again. He ended up in South Carolina for many years.
It was Christmas Eve and I had only one table, a demanding group of twenty. I jumped through hoops like a trained circus animal and they left me no tip. It was too much. If I could have committed suicide in that moment, I would have. Someone saw my plight and offered a mild muscle relaxant. I had one cocktail before leaving, but it must have been added to a vast repository of alcohol already stirring inside my body, for the mixture sent me into another blackout. I drove an enormous 1979 Lincoln Continental with reversed doors. I figured, from my last accident, bigger was better. I was right, of course. On my way home, I blacked out at the wheel again only this time I hit a granite lamp post, breaking it in two from the impact. I don't remember anything, yet I walked over a mile to the house in a blackout, nose squashed into my head, unaware of severe injuries. It was shock commingled with blackout. Once again, angels must have been watching over me. The police traced my wrecked abandoned car to the house. Apparently, I argued with them about going to the Emergency Room and was told, like my father, "It's either the Emergency Room or JAIL". I left instantly. We become just like our fathers, eh?

The hand of Providence stepped in again. A plastic surgeon was on duty Christmas Eve in the Emergency Room. My fractures required facial reconstruction and a nose job. I had a big nose most of my life, causing no end of insecurity. The required surgery was performed that night. Had it been another day that passed, everything would need to be broken. I awoke looking like King Tut covered in white bandages around my head and one eye, the other eye covered by an inverted cup. I was blind for almost a week. At least I got a nose job out of it. The surgeon was from the Philippines, so all of his "noses" looked like Mrs. Cory Acquino. I hated it at first, but I was alive to drink another day, and that was all I cared about. Life had no meaning for me. At this time, I traveled back and forth to "the ranch". One occasion, I got a ride with a tall, slender, good looking male, an architect. We stopped by his apartment before the final leg of the journey, and he made a pass at me. I wasn't really attracted, and it had been years since I'd had sex, so frankly I didn't know what to do. Besides, my own sexuality remained a mystery to all but me.
A day later, I was told "the Teacher wants to see you at the Lincoln Lodge". Somewhat excited, yet apprehensive, I sat next to him in an overstuffed chair. He told me that my architect friend had asked if it was okay to have sex with another male and had spilled his guts. Bad idea. We were both given "the task" of not ever having sex with other males. Robert said, with a sweeping gesture in the air, "Can't you see...there's so much more..." and that was that. You didn't argue with the Teacher. Period. Depressed, I felt that the school was becoming "too restrictive". Slowly, like a society that is being modified and controlled, it goes largely unnoticed - until it's too late. I felt the school was turning into, or already was, a cult. I couldn't see why being homosexual should limit my spiritual advancement.
Not only that, I was one horny male, after years of celibacy. I told Randolph that I was going to leave. He hated to see me go, but understood completely. We embraced and said goodbye. It seemed "logical" to make my escape to San Francisco, a doomed failure and raging alcoholic.
I ended up living in the Haight Ashbury with a buffed Queen who was rarely home, living the "perfect life" of a fag: the gym, polished copper pots, and two alcoholic roommates. The bars nearby became my new home. Dealing with leaving a school, believing one is basically doomed, is a dark shadow from which to emerge. Many other students either left at that time, or were asked to leave, especially if they "knew too much". My good friends, Stella and Harold, who had opened a center in Amsterdam, were asked to leave, having disobeyed the "no smoking" rule. Several years later I got in touch with Stella, and the truth came out. Robert had been blackmailing the straight male students, and their underage boys, into having sex with him. They were told point blank if they didn't comply, they'd be out of the school. This had been going on from the beginning. Robert's "inner circle" had nothing to do with level of consciousness. It had to do with who could do his bidding and keep their mouths shut. Those were the ones who ended up in "special positions" either traveling with him, sitting next to him at enormous meetings, or taking on "executive duties". One fellow was used as his "boy toy", which left indelible scars. He worked through it to eventually become a well-known artist. Those at the top seemed a bunch of arrogant scoundrels. One of the men who sat in front was a Doctor, who I bumped into at the San Francisco baths one night. He cringed and left upon seeing me. I was delighted to have left the school on my own terms, having taken what I needed. "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!", says Auntie Mame.
Stella, in the meantime, began a support group assisting those who left or were asked to leave. Many folks were suicidal. I joined the group, and more sordid details of Robert's sexual machinations were revealed, including a class action lawsuit that ended up settling "out of court".
[Continue reading at Zany Mystic. A book is also available: Tales of a Zany Mystic at Amazon.com]
Sunday, February 28, 1982
February 1982 Notes
"Renaissance Vine" newsletter [summarized]
"Paul Gregory" posted on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, January 5, 2013:
[ed. - Quotes from "The Teacher," Robert Burton from this time period, with apparent index numbers shown:]
From the Fellowship of Friends Wiki Page [Defunct]:
[ed. - Thoughts from "The Teacher," Robert Burton, with apparent index number shown.]
“Biscuit” exercise rescinded. (They can now be called "cookies.")
Talking about spouses exercise rescinded (can now talk about spouses)
"Paul Gregory" posted on the Fellowship of Friends Discussion blog, January 5, 2013:
[ed. - Quotes from "The Teacher," Robert Burton from this time period, with apparent index numbers shown:]
Women have made large gains; It is one of our aims to protect these advances in our new civilization. (021582.95)
I expect not to be martyred, but to die a passive death. I will have eight years after the destruction of humanity to assist in rebuilding a civilization. I am immortal, and death does not exist for me. (021582.99)
When my task is complete I will continue to work with our school, and communicate to my students the wishes of higher forces for our new civilization. (021582.911)
From the Fellowship of Friends Wiki Page [Defunct]:
[ed. - Thoughts from "The Teacher," Robert Burton, with apparent index number shown.]
Some paintings do not deserve a place on the wall. One goes from the Dutch section of t he Metropolitan Museum in New York to the section for modern art and one sees how people have spent millions for a building so they can put insanity on the wall. Kenneth Clark asked, ‘What will men of the future think when they look at our art?’ What they will then understand is what men are like when they have lost their minds and are expunged by higher forces. Plato said the affairs of the citizens of Atlantis had reached a pitiable position before they were destroyed. (020182.611)
All the cities of the world are on the same time now: they all have twenty four years left before Armageddon occurs in 2006. (021582.91)
The United Sates is a brilliant nation, but it will never grow old as a nation. It will die a young death, like Mozart. (021582.92)
Monday, February 15, 1982
The Board of Directors attempts to reign-in Robert Burton's spending
[ed. - It's not clear if this action is a result of the IRS audit of the Fellowship occurring around this time, but the Board of Directors appears to have been acting to bolster the image of a legitimate church, while minimizing the impact of Robert Burton's personal inurement.]
From the Internet Archive, "Meeting of the Board of Directors, Renaissance Monastery, February 20, 1982"
From the Internet Archive, "Meeting of the Board of Directors, Renaissance Monastery, February 20, 1982"
The poster included this description:
"Meeting of the Board of Directors, Renaissance Monastery, February 20, 1982. This document was attached to pleadings filed by lawyers for the Fellowship of Friends in the Superior Court of California for the County of Yuba. The document is a matter of public record and is in the public domain."
MEETING OF THE BOARDOF DIRECTORSFEBRUARY 20, 1982RENAISSANCE MONASTERY
The meeting was called to order by the President, Miles Barth, and the roster was called and the following directors were present: Miles Barth, Linda Rockwood [Linda Kaplan, Linda Tulisso], Charles Randall, Susan Barth, Karl Werner, Frank Annis, Samuel Sanders, and Clare Bowen. Absent was Kenneth Wygal.
The President then read from the words of Peter Ouspensky:
Charles Randall moved that the minutes for January 3, 1982, be adopted; motion seconded by Linda Rockwood and unanimously approved."It is necessary to realize and remember how many are the things we come up against in our thinking which are really insoluble for our mind. When we realize that, it will help us to see that we must begin with possible problems. Many people, I do not mean necessarily in the work, but even in the work, many people spend all their mental energy on these insoluble problems. They invent all kinds of solutions, try to think in this or that way about them, but it is all quite useless. You can understand one thing if you understand another thing, and a third thing if you have understood the first two. There are ways for everything, but some problems we can approach with the ordinary mind, while other problems we must put off and wait till we are more conscious and are able to use better machines for thinking. In ordinary thinking, in ordinary philosophy and psychology, this question never arises, or if it does, it arises in so vague and confused a form that it does not help. But we know more divisions, more steps, and we must use this knowledge. It will help us to think more practically and to avoid useless abstractions and trying to solve problems which at present we cannot solve." (The Fourth Way)
The next order of business was the Reorganization Committee which was formed in the latter part of January pursuant to a Consent to Corporate Action. The Board discussed the purpose and activities of the Reorganization Committee, and it was agreed that the Consent to Corporate Action mandating the Committee be attached to these Minutes.
The members of the Reorganization Committee explained its proposals beginning with the complete separation of the officers and directors of the church and its subsidiary, Renaissance Vineyard and Winery, Incorporated. Letters of resignation from Kenneth Wygal and Karl Werner from the Board of the Church were submitted, and nominees were suggested to fill thevacancies. The nominees were Walter Friedman and Carl Mautz, and they were unanimously elected to fill the vacancies until the next annual meeting of the voting members. Both new members of the Board were in attendence [sic].
Based on the close involvement of Carl Mautz in the Reorganization Committee, it was agreed that day to day operations would be facilitated by making Mr. Mautz an officer of the church. In accordance with this decision, Linda Rockwood submitted her resignation as Vice President of the church, and after nomination and vote, Carl Mautz was unanimously elected to fill the vacancy in the office of Vice President until the next annual meeting of the Board.
After motion duly made and seconded, it was unanimously
RESOLVED, that the Board hereby expresses its gratitude to the retiring directors and officers for their loyal and competant [sic] service each rendered to the church during their time of service.
The next order of business was the subject of the Executive Committee, and after hearing the recommendations of the Reorganization Committee and a discussion among Board members, it was duly moved, seconded and unanimously resolved that
WHEREAS, the Board of Directors of the Church consists of members who reside in various locations in California or have varying relationships to the day to day operations of the Church, and,
WHEREAS, the members of the Board agree that it is in the best interests of the Church that most business of the Church be conducted by a smaller number of its members who are involved with the daily operations of the church, and therefore it is hereby,
RESOLVED, that the By-Laws of the church be amended so that Article V shall contain the following paragraphs designated by the numeral 9:
9. Executive Committee . The Board of Directors may appoint an Executuve Committee to serve at the pleasure of the Board and to exercise whatever powers are allowed by the law and by resolution of the Board. The Board may by resolution formulate rules by which the Executive Committee functions unless the Board delegates the rule making function to the Executive Committee. The Board may withdraw the rule making function at its pleasure. The Board may replace. Committee members at will and fill vacancies at regular or special meetings of the Board.BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that an Executive Committee be formed consisting of those directors who also hold positions as officers, the number of which shall not be less than three or more than four, to serve at the pleasure of the Board of Directors of the Church. The Executive Committee shall have all of the powers of the Board during the periods between the
regular meetings of the Board except as follows:
(1) Approval or ratification of any action which requires Voting Members approval pursuant to sections 5034 and 5033 of the California Corporations Code.BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Executive Committee shall formulate its own rules of procedure, except that minutes shall be kept of all of its resolutions, such minutes shall be signed by the Secretary and kept in a minute book at the business office of the Church. Copies of all minutes shall be distributed to each Board member prior to the first regular Board meeting occurring after Executive Committee resolutions have been adopted and minuted.
(2) Filling vacancies on the Board or any Committee having the authority of the Board.
(3) Fixing compensation of Directors for serving on the Board or on any Committee.
(4) Amending, repealing or adopting bylaws.
(5) Amending or repealing any resolution of the Board which by its express terms is not amendable or repealable.
(6) The appointment of committees of the Board or of the Voting Members.
(7) Approval of expenditures totaling $25,000 in the aggregate.
The matter of expenditure of funds was raised, and after recommendation by the Reorganization Committee and discussion, it was duly moved, seconded and unanimously resolved that
WHEREAS, the Fellowship of Friends, Inc., is incorporated as a church under California's General Nonprofit Corporation Law; and
WHEREAS, the major religious goal of the Fellowship is the pursuit of spiritual development through God's laws, work, preservation of traditional human skills, and study and understanding God's laws; and
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that the Board of Directors of the Fellowship of Friends, Inc., adopts the following procedures to administer the expenditure of funds for the achievement of its religious goals:
RESOLVED, that the following uses of church funds are approved by the Board so long as expenditures are made only pursuant to approved budget and other predefined spending procedures :
I. Renaissance Development
A. Land developmentII. Renaissance Maintenance
B. Community planning and County land use approval
C. Research of models for future development
A. Buildings1. Lincoln Lodge
2. Goethe AcademyB. Food serviceIII. Establishment and Support of Congregations
C. Housekeeping and laundry
D. Landscaping
A. Advertising and subsidyIV. Religious Development
B. Travelling minister costs
C. Postage and supplies
D. Ministers' salaries
E. Miscellaneous travel
F. Press - Journal and Vine production and distribution
A. Goethe Academy construction and furnishingV. General and Administrative
B. Oil painting acquisition
C. Musical instrument acquisition
D. Orchestra and Choral training and development
E. Library
F. Concerts
G. Teaching dinners
A. PurchasingVI. Investments
B. Accounting and data processing
C. Legal
D. Insurance
E. Taxes
F. Debt Service
G. Telephone and other communication
A. Renaissance Vineyard and WineryBE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that a Budget and Finance Committee shall be created to serve under the authority of the Executive Committee, shall be appointed by the Executive Committee and shall consist of at least two Directors of the Board, and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that all uses of church funds as aforementioned and approved shall be subject to budget and other procedural approval by the Budget and Finance Committee; provided however, that any expenditure over $1,500 shall require approval by the Executive Committee, while lesser expenditures shall be approved pursuant to a requisition system proposed by the Budget and Finance Committee and approved by the Executive Committee; and further provided, that any expenditure over $25,000 shall require approval of the Board,
BE IT FURTHER- RESOLVED, that no contracts, purchase orders or other commitments to spend may be executed unless approved according to pre-approved procedures, and any contracts, purchase orders or other commitments executed without proper authorization shall not be honored, unless otherwise required by law,
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that each of the aforementioned and approved uses shall be subject to administration by various subcommittees of the Board which reports to the Executive Committee, and such subcommittees shall plan and implement goals and operations for their area of responsibility. They shall requisition for expenditures within their budget and requisitions shall be approved by either the Treasurer and/or the President. Expenditures proposed over $1,500 shall require Executive Committee approval. Expenditures totalling [sic] over $25,000 in the aggregate shall require the approval of the Board.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the committees and subcommittees designated on the following chart are hereby created to serve the Board through the Executive Committee which is hereby authorized to appoint the members of each committee and subcommittee:
The subject of donations to the church was raised and after recommendations by the Reorganization Committee and discussion, it was duly moved, seconded and unanimously resolved that
WHEREAS, the donation policies within the Fellowship have been set informally in the past by the Founding Minister in conjunction with advise from the Ministerial Committee and Donation Administrator, and
WHEREAS, the Board now considers it in the best interests of the church to formalize the general donation guidelines and provide for the administration of such guidelines, and
THEREFORE, IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED, that the following guidelines be adopted as the currently effective Donation Guidelines applying to members of the church:
1) Members shall pay a monthly tithe (ten per cent] of one's income before taxes, or $100, whichever is greater; special arrangements for hardship cases may be permitted.
2) Three months after becoming a member, an additional monthly donation of $10 is required.
3) One year after becoming a member, a once-in-a-lifetime donation of ten times of a member's average monthly payment is due.
4) After eighteen month's membership, an additional monthly donation of $135 is required.
5) After two years, a continuing, semi-annual donation in the spring and autumn of $650 is required.
6) If a member's donations are in arrears for more than 8 weeks, he or she may not attend meetings, centre functions, or visit Renaissance until donations are within 8 weeks of being current. If a member's donations are in arrears more than 3 1/2 months, membership shall terminate. Reinstatement of membership requires payment of all donations in arrears at the time membership terminated, plus a payment of $2500.
7) New income from sources other than ordinary income, such as inheritances, capital gains or gifts shall be subject to a 10% donation from the total of such new money received.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the administration of the Donation Guidelines will be conducted jointly between the Ministerial Committee and the Donation Administrator, the latter position to be filled as necessary by vote of the Board, and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that James Bryant is elected to be the Donation Administrator until his resignation or replacement by the Board, and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that exceptions, reductions and variations to the Donation Guidelines may be made in particular cases or affecting a class of members where the Ministerial Committee determines that hardship exists and that the best interests of the members in question and the church as a whole would benefit from the exception; provided however, that any exceptions, reductions or variations which suggest a major shift in the Donation Guidelines shall receive prior approval of the Board.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Board adopts in substance the following draft of a letter requesting a Spring Donation from church members, and the Board hereby authorizes the Treasurer to continue drafting donation letters as and when the Board determines that new
donations are necessary to be requested from members:March 1, 1982Dear ____________ ,The next item of business was travel policy and after recommendations by the Reorganization Committee and discussion, it was duly moved, seconded and unanimously resolved that
The Fellowship's Board of Directors recently adopted a policy that all future requests for donations from members will be limited to requests for contributions to the Fellowship's general contribution fund. The Fellowship will utilize all such funds solely to further the church's religious purposes and activities. The amounts that will be dedicated to each such religious function will be determined by the Board of Directors at its budget meetings.
Accordingly, to achieve the Fellowship's religious purposes, we request a Spring, 1982, donation of $650. This donation will allow the Fellowship to continue to accomplish its objectives.
The due date for the donation is April 15, 1982. Those who have joined on or before April 15, 1980 are eligible. For those who qualify, the reduced amount is $400. Please code these donations S2 on the transmittals.
Thank you,
Charles Randall
WHEREAS, travel policy for ministers and others travelling [sic] on church business had been determined informally in the past, and
WHEREAS, the Board considers it in the best interests of the church to formalize and standardize the travel guidelines and provide for the administration of such guidelines, and
THEREFORE, IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED, that the following travel objectives be adopted applying to members of the church:
1) Spiritual support of Fellowship congregations throughout the world.2) Development of Fellowship membership, including investigation of locations for the establishment of new congregations.3) Research models for development of various religious facets of the Renaissance community and the church.4) To conduct the business of the church, as necessary.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the following schedule of expenses and policies for travel will be instituted by the church:
1) Per diem expenses for meals will be paid at the rate of $25 ($35 in Europe).
2) Accomodations [sic] shall be in teaching houses or member's residences in all cities where possible and at moderately priced hotels ($45 per day maximum) in other cities.
3) Transportation shall exclude 1st class air travel and otherwise conform to a moderate expenditure depending on the circumstances of the travel .
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that all -travel plans over $500 require approval in advance by the Executive Committee and that the following procedures and policies will govern the extent to which such travel will be paid by the church:
1) Prior to finalization of- travel arrangements, the traveler shall submit for approval a proposed agenda to the Executive Committee. The agenda shall list the anticipated religious business to be accomplished on each day of scheduled travel, the destinations, and the names of persons with whom meetings have been or will be scheduled. No personal activities shall be paid for by the church, and all .activities not in pursuit of one of the above-cited objectives shall be considered personal.
2) All activities paid for by the church shall be subject to review by the Board and its officers for determination as to the appropriateness of the activity to the stated objectives
3) All church travel expenses shall be documented with receipts, all receipts shall be submitted to the church office at the end of the journey, and expenditures not documented by a receipt or not justified as in furtherance of one of the stated objectives shall be subject to disallowance by the Executive Committee. Additionally, the traveler will maintain a diary or similar record during his travels which lists the meetings attended each day, persons present at each meeting, religious business accomplished, and other pertinent information. This record will be submitted to the office along with receipts at the end of the journey.4) Any expenditures disallowed by the Executive Committee shall be reimbursed to the church by the party who made or is responsible for making the disallowed expenditure.The subject of sales of assets, loans and gifts to members of the church was raised, and after recommendations by the Reorganization Committee and discussion, it was duly moved, seconded and unanimously resolved that
WHEREAS, on October 7, 1979, the Board of Directors of the Fellowship of Friends, Inc. resolved to budget funds for a Discretionary Fund to be utilized by the Founding Minister to further the Fellowship's religious purposes, i.e., to enhance the member's spiritual development,
and
WHEREAS, although the Board has informally concurred in the uses of this fund, it is agreed that it is in the best interests of the church to formalize its approval of the Discretionary Fund, and
THEREFORE, BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED, that expenditure of funds in furtherance of the Fellowship's religious purposes which utilize the Discretionary Fund up to $500 will require the approval of the Executive Committee after a proposal by the Ministerial Committee. Expenditures proposed over $500.00 will require Board approval.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that no assets of the church may be sold to members by the Church except in unusual circumstances, and in cases where such unusual circumstances may exist, all details of the proposed sale shall be fully disclosed to the Board prior to any commitment being binding on the church. If the Board determines that unusual circumstances exist after full disclosure of the details of a proposed sale, then the determination shall be expressed fully in a Board resolution and recorded in the Board's minutes. Any sales approved shall be at fair market value as established and documented by independent appraisal and the terms of payment shall be determined pursuant to prevailing market rates.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that loans to members must be preceded by a written request stating the purpose of the loan, that any loan proposed shall be reviewed in advance by the Board and may only be approved if it furthers a religious purpose and is in the best interests of the church. All loans shall incur interest at the prevailing rate with adequate and proper security where appropriate.
The next item of business was the deaccessioning of the church's decorative arts collection and after recommendations of the Reorganization Committee and discussion it was duly moved, seconded and unanimously resolved that
WHEREAS, the church has in the past purchased numerous items of decorative arts, fine books and antiques for the purpose of fulfilling the church's religious aim of uplifting the standards of its members in order that their spiritual evolution be enhanced, and
WHEREAS, the Founding Minister has advised the Board that based on his spiritual insight and judgement he considers that the goal of raising the standards of the members through the refinement of their environment...(End of record)